


Six Reasons Why

by Courtney_in_real_life



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drama, Original Character(s), Past Relationship(s), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courtney_in_real_life/pseuds/Courtney_in_real_life
Summary: Based on the novel "Thirteen Reasons Why" by Jay Asher. Courtney commits suicide but only lets Noah, Heather, Duncan, Gwen, Trent, and Bridgette know the reason why she did it. But why them? And why did she want to die?





	1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Takes place towards the end of the fourth season of Total Drama.**

* * *

On an island with unlimited food, a pool, and a hot tub, it was the epitome of paradise. However, for twenty-four contestants, this place was more than just that. It was a haven. A haven from the drama and pressure of winning money. A haven from the fear of being recorded doing something that can never be undone. A haven from, well... Chris. At least, that's how it was supposed to be. Though most of the contestants would've still considered this place a haven, one person did not.

* * *

**?'s POV**

**Last Night**

After convincing her that I was too tired to join everyone at the party (which takes place every night anyway), I dashed towards the lobby before she had the chance to change her mind. I walked up to the elevator doors and pressed the button to go up. Right away, the doors opened and allowed me to walk inside. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the elevator music and not on the twenty-four teens outside who could care less that I had left.

I opened my eyes. _There's no need to think like that. Well, at least not anymore…_

With a loud ding, the doors opened to my floor and I forced myself to put my thoughts on hold. I made my way down the hallway and turned to face the door leading to my bedroom. My key slid into the lock and I entered the room. Once inside, I made sure that everything was set in the right place. This was my only chance to make sure everything went right. Tomorrow would be too late. If even one thing was out of place tonight, then my whole plan would be for nothing.

I walked towards the balcony and looked down at the party. _Looks the same as yesterday. With or without me._ Some people were drinking alcohol they swiped from the crew members. Others were in the pool. Several were dancing (Or grinding. How tasteless). The viewer's favorite couple (according to Chris) was arguing. _Nothing new. They'll make up tomorrow._ One person was strumming his guitar while staring at the sky. _At least he moved on. Not like me._ One person was living the life that she dreamed of. I scowled. _Your act may fool everybody, but not me._ I kept looking around. One person was far away from everybody and seemed to be pacing while angrily muttering to himself. _Hmm, I wonder..._ For a second, I considered almost going back down. Almost. _Because what if that person knew..._ I quickly dismissed the thought before I could talk myself out of it. _No, I've been careful. I hadn't given anything away or hinted at what was about to happen._

My vision started to become blurry as tears formed and threatened to fall. _Water, I need water. _With shaky hands, I opened the mini-fridge that all the rooms had, opened a bottle of water, and quickly took in a big gulp. My body started to calm down quickly after.

"I can't do this," I whispered to myself.

_Stop being a little shit. You're a CIT for god's sake. Now is the time to do it._

"But what if-"

_They don't care about you! Don't you think that if they did that someone would've checked up on you by now? Why do you think you're alone right now? Why do you think nobody every wanted to talk to you at any point on this island?_

Every night, I had this same conversation with myself. Usually, at the end, I'd chicken out. Not tonight.

_All of your other options failed. This is the only way._

I turned around and walked towards her bed. As I slowly sunk down into the mattress, I looked with the corner of my eye at the bottle resting on the night stand. Slowly, I popped open the cap and poured sleeping pills into my hand._ I wonder how many I would need in order for this to work._ One by one, I pop them in my mouth and took a swig of water. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. I could feel darkness consuming me. I could feel nothing.

* * *

**Bridgette's POV**

**The Next Morning**

I knocked on her door and waited expectantly while humming the theme song to myself. No answer. I rapped on the door again. _It's so unlike her to leave that early from the party,_ I thought. _I mean, I know she's been leaving a little earlier every time, but usually, she'll leave after we have our latest update of who couldn't hold their liquor._

Still no answer. I knocked a bit louder this time.

"Courtney," I hollered. "You told me to be your wake up call for today, remember?"

I waited, tapping my foot impatiently. The door remained closed. I leaned against it in an attempt to hear any footsteps. Nothing. An exasperated cry escaped me. _I mean, I don't know why I had to wake up at 8 am and do this and why she couldn't just use her PDA..._

I banged on the door. "Come on, Courtney," I yelled. "Don't pretend that you're hungover because I know you. You won't even touch alcohol." There was no answer as I waited another minute. "Damn it," I cursed.

My hand went into my pocket, searching for the spare key that Courtney gave to me our first day on island. "That's it." I revealed the key and shoved it in the lock. "I'm coming in." _And ready to give you a piece of my mind!_

I could see Courtney on the bed as I entered. _She's still sleeping._ I put my hand on her shoulder and gave her a little shake. _Why does she feel so cold? And why is she so pale?_

"Courtney?" The unresponsiveness was as if I were standing out in the hallway again, talking to the door. I roll her over on her back. _Huh. How funny. her chest isn't moving up and down. It's almost as if... Wait. _I checked her pulse in her wrist, then in her throat. No heartbeat. "No... no... no!"

My heart pounded against my chest. My vision was starting to fail me. _Is this some kind of sick joke?_ I felt like screaming and crying. I slapped myself across the face. _Quit panicking and do something! _Quickly, I performed CPR on her while praying for some sort of response. Instead, silence filled the room.

My stomach was in knots. Not knowing what else to do, I rushed over to the phone and called for paramedics. "It's going to be okay," I told Courtney, hanging up the phone trying to swallow back the tears. "You'll be fine."

I knew that the reassurance wasn't helping either of us. I looked down as I walked back towards the bed. _What's that in her hand?_ I tried not to think about how cold her fingers were while I pried the paper away. _It's a letter! Addressed to... Me?_ The paramedics were all over the room in minutes, and that left me to forget about the letter and focus on Courtney. Though I tried to stay positive, I already knew that it was too late.

* * *

**BACK AT THE BEACH PARTY**

"I just don't get it," Gwen said, trying her hardest to keep her blood from boiling. "Why are you doing this to us?"

Duncan rolled his eyes. To the viewing eyes of the audience during their third season, Duncan and Gwen appeared to be the perfectly happy couple. Back then, it was probably true. They were at one point happy together (and Duncan couldn't deny that Gwen was a great kisser). However, as time went by, Duncan realized that he wanted more in the relationship. He didn't want to just make out or hold hands. He wanted to talk with her… tell her everything on his mind… have a real relationship.

Gwen, in Duncan's opinion, couldn't be the one for that. Breaking up with Trent was hard for her. Instead, she focused on having fun in relationships that couldn't become too serious too quickly. It made sense after looking at what happened when she dived into a more serious relationship. The guy became obsessed with her.

"Look," Duncan began. "I just want something serious."

Gwen raised her eyebrow at him. He had to be joking. A delinquent wanting a serious relationship? That was unheard of.

"I thought that's why you cheated on Courtney. Because you couldn't handle a serious relationship," she said.

Duncan sighed. Yes, once upon a time, he thought he wanted to just have it easy and not be committed. Courtney wouldn't do that. And Gwen was so willing... He shook his head.

"I decided to try to get back with Courtney."

"Seriously?" Gwen looked at him incredulously. "You think she's going to take you back after all the shit you put her through?"

"No," he admitted. "I don't expect her to. But I did realize that I've actually been in love with her and been too scared to do something about it. I have to know what would have happened if I wasn't a coward and had done what I was supposed to do."

Quieter, almost to himself, he added, "What I felt for her… I don't think I can feel that way about anyone else."

Gwen glared daggers at Duncan. _How dare he._

"And what about me?" Gwen asked.

Duncan smirked. "I'm sorry," he shrugged. "I thought you said you didn't want anything serious."

* * *

Heather felt as though she was in a dream. Walking towards her was everybody's dream guy, yet he chose her.

Before she was even on the show, Heather never thought that she would be able to get a guy that would be able to handle her. She would purposely give people a hard time. If they couldn't handle it, then they definitely didn't deserve her respect. They weren't even worth her time. Every time a guy would ask her out, she would play hard to get. Very hard to get. The same was true whenever someone would try to become friends with her. She knew it was mean, but hey, life is cruel anyway.

When the first season began, Lindsay didn't immediately become her friend as shown on TV. She had outright ignored Lindsay, belittling her whenever she the chance appeared. That is, until Lindsey finally got tired of the abuse and threw her make-up bag at Heather. Heather, though pissed off at first, found that she respected Lindsay. After that, she was comfortable to hang out with her throughout the first season.

Alejandro, her boyfriend, was a similar story. When he first kissed her, she pushed him down the hill. He didn't take it and told her off. He could stand up for himself, and that gained her respect.

Alejandro finally reached Heather. He lifted her hand with his and kissed it. She smiled.

This is the dream life she always wanted. It was finally happening.

* * *

Trent strummed his guitar. He sighed.

After the third season of Total Drama, even though he did not participate in it, he was offered his own record deal. However, they told him that one of the songs they expected from him was a love song. After being dumped on TV and having your ex date your bully, it was kind of hard to imagine writing a love song.

When the second season of Total Drama ended, he started a band with Cody, Harold, and Justin. They became instantly famous, and Trent dated a few fans. However, each of them was a disappointment. He couldn't picture getting serious with any of them.

There was that one girl that could have helped him through the slump he was in. _And I just threw her to the side. Man, I'm the worst._

Trent put his guitar down and tried to look around for a couple that he could base his song on. Gwen and Duncan? No, it would be weird to sing a song about your ex. Besides, the way they were glaring at each other wasn't exactly material for the kind of song his producers were asking for. Heather and Alejandro? No, who wants to listen to a song about two bad guys getting together? Tyler and Lindsay? No, Lindsay can't even remember Tyler's name. Cody and Sierra? Maybe. He would just have to write it from Sierra's point of view and somehow sound less stalkerish. Then again, Cody was his friend, and Trent was pretty sure that Cody wouldn't approve. Geoff and Bridgette? No, Trent knew he couldn't write a three minute song about their make out sessions.

Besides, Bridgette wasn't even here. Where was she?

* * *

Noah sat upon his chair every time someone walked out of the lobby, and every time he ended up slumping back down in disappointment. He didn't know why he was even waiting for her. She didn't usually come out to the pool until later when it was less crowded.

"I should've talked to her last night," he mentally slapped himself. "But no! Had to chicken out once again."

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign that you're crazy," Izzy said from behind him.

"How ironic," he muttered, not even bothering to turn around.

After spending three seasons on this godforsaken show, he had learned the art of ignoring Izzy, which included not making eye contact and walking straight over to another person, for starters. Right now, that person for him was Owen, who was the only one aware about Noah's secret crush. Actually, no, he took it back. Owen didn't know. But his guess was a close enough answer. I mean, they were both the same gender.

He tried to watch with a nonjudgmental eye as he neared the big guy gorging down possibly all the sausages the resort presented. Clearing his throat, he waited for Owen to notice his presence and give him the thumbs up to know that he's listening.

"I chickened out again," said Noah after receiving the signal. He looked down at his feet, disappointment washing over him like a cold shower.

Owen always hated to see his little buddy sad, so after gulping down the last of the sausage (I wonder if there's any more in the kitchens...) he smiled and said, "Cheer up. Today's a new day. You might finally get to talk to Bridgette," while giving him an encouraging (but very, very hard) smack on his back.

"Yeah, Bridgette, of course," Noah said sarcastically while rolling his eyes. Owen didn't notice and instead moved on to the burgers.

_Courtney, where are you?_

After the incident in the third season where people were trying to cuddle each other to keep warm and he chose Bridgette, the contestants started to spread the gossip of Noah's crush on a certain surfer girl. Noah didn't like Bridgette like that, but no one believed him. Except for one person, but that didn't matter now. Besides, it was better if people thought he liked Bridgette instead of Cody.

* * *

Bridgette tried to wipe her eyes dry, but the tears wouldn't stop falling. Courtney was her first friend in Total Drama. Sure, they went through hell (especially Courtney due to certain people), but she never thought it would somehow end like this.

"How could she do this to herself," she asked, knowing there was nobody there to answer.

Bridgette read the letter that Courtney addressed to her. In it, Courtney apologized to Bridgette about leaving her, but she promised that she would explain why she did it in the tape, which Bridgette was now holding in her hand.

She just had to get six people to watch it with her.

* * *

Walking outside, Bridgette looked around for her boyfriend, and once she locked eyes with him, signaled to turn off the music. Once that was done, she made her way up to the stage and tested the microphone to make sure it was working.

"Is this thing on," she asked. Geoff gave her a thumbs up. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before continuing. _No tears._

"I have terrible news." Her voice wavered. "Last night, one of our friends has left us. Forever." She stopped in order to prevent herself from crying right on stage.

Trying to distract herself, she watched the other's reactions. The contestants all looked around for the missing person. _Which one was gone?_

Then DJ spoke up, "So by left us forever, you don't mean..."

Bridgette nodded her head. "Yes… She died."

Gasps could be heard as people whispered to one another. There was a buzz in the air now. _Who had done it? And why?_

"And by she," Bridgette continued, "I mean Courtney. I would tell you all what exactly happened, but I think it's better if only a few close people knew. Noah..."

"I've never seen them interact before," whispered Eva to Ezekial in between the chatter. "I wonder why she wants him."

"Heather..."

"Although she's been nice to her in the plane," said Lindsay. "I've never seen her really talk to Courtney."

Beth nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I wonder what that's about."

"Duncan..."

"Why?" questioned Tyler. "He cheated on her. I thought she would be too mad to even mention his name."

"Gwen..."

"Her too," said Tyler.

"and Trent."

"You guys talked before?" Cody asks Trent, who chose not to answer.

"Let's go up to my room," said Bridgette.

* * *

Bridgette unlocked the door to her room and let everyone inside. She proceeded to lock the door and the balcony. She closed the shades and turned around, not looking anyone in the eye as they settled. There were so many questions. Bridgette knew that after this, she would never think the same of them again. She tried to hush the conversations that had endured the journey to her room.

"I know you guys have a lot of questions, but Courtney promised that all will be answered in these tapes." She carefully placed tape which had a neatly number one with a sharpie in the tape player. _Perfect. Just like her._ She took a deep breath and pressed play.

"Hello everybody."

No one had been prepared to hear Courtney's voice. To them, hearing Courtney's voice was like hearing a ghost.

"I trust that Bridgette gathered all of you into a separate room in order to hear exactly what happened. So, I'll be blunt. I killed myself. For what reason? Well, I guess the simple answer is that I wasn't happy with my life, but that doesn't explain the reason you guys are here, does it?"

Courtney cleared her throat. "You guys are here..." She paused. "Because each and every one of you gave me a reason to kill myself."


	2. Noah's Story

Courtney blew out a big breath of air. "Well, now that the heavy stuff is out of the way so let's get to the good stuff! My life is not as simple as seen on TV. And it all began with the person I've known the longest."

* * *

**FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST DAY OF EIGHTH GRADE**

Courtney nervously looked around her as she walked down the hallway trying to find her locker. She watched as people walked around her talking to each other, meeting up at their locker, knowing where their lockers actually were...

"Moving will be fun, they said," Courtney grumbled underneath her breath. "It's not hard to make new friends, they said. Who in their right mind has their child transfer schools in eighth grade?"

During the summer, Courtney's dad rushed home with the news. His job offered him a promotion! While Courtney was at first ecstatic, her joy was short-lived when she realized her dad's new position was in a new province: Ontario. She voiced her concerns about transferring to another school in the middle of middle school to her father, but her dad just said, "You worry too much, sweetheart. Come on! It'll be an adventure!"

...And here she was. On an adventure to try to find her locker. _Fantastic._

She gave an exasperated sigh and once more looked down at the map in her hand her "helpful" tour guide gave her. Her tour guide, which she later learned is named Landon, was supposed to walk her to the locker and then to her first class. Instead, he gave her a map, a peace sign, and walked away.

"But it's fine," she mumbled to herself as she stood in front of a locker. "Because I found it myself!"

Courtney tried to put in her locker combination that Landon wrote on her hand. ("Gotta save the trees," he explained with a smirk) As she was trying to figure out why her combination wasn't working, she didn't notice another girl walking towards her while giving her a look of disgust. When she got to Courtney, she cleared her throat, which caused Courtney to jump.

"Sorry," said Courtney. "I didn't see you there."

"Whoa," Courtney thought as she looked at the girl. The girl had long black hair that reached down to her waist and was wearing clothes that were probably borderline school appropriate.

The girl scoffed. "Is there a reason why you're trying to open my locker," the girl asked in a patronizing tone.

"Shit," Courtney mumbled as her eyes widened. _Stupid map. Stupid Landon for not taking me to my locker. Stupid, stupid, stupid! _"You see, it's kind of a funny story. I'm new, and I was just trying to find my locker, and I thought this one was it! Sorry about that." She could feel her cheeks go red with embarrassment. "Was this the adventure you were talking about, dad," she thought bitterly.

The girl smiled and said with a condescending voice, "Aw, you were just lost? And now my locker is _just_ filled with new girl germs? You really know how to make a first impression, don't you?" She patted Courtney on the head.

The Courtney today would have ripped that girl to shreds. This Courtney, however, was shy and too embarrassed to do anything. So, instead, she turned around to walk away when she heard that girl say, "What? No comeback? Come on. You're not really gonna take what I said are you?"

_Just keep walking._

"Hey," said the girl running up to her. When she caught up to her, she put a hand on her shoulder and spun her around looking at her face to face. "I'm talking to you."

Courtney tried to pull away from her grip. "I'm just trying to get to my locker."

The girl smirked. "I don't think so," she said. "I don't like to win without a fight. So come on. Show me the best you can do, Ms. I'm so helpless I can't even find my locker!"

"I don't really want to fight," Courtney said trying to walk away, but the girl held her shoulder.

"You started this, so you're going to finish this."

Courtney started to panic. "Please, I-"

"Let her go," said a bored voice from behind the girl.

_Thank god. _The girl turned around to face a boy who looked about their age. "Or what? You can't exactly fight me with those noodles you call arms."

"I know that," said the boy. "Just like how I happen to know that a certain someone stuffs her bras."

Courtney watched as the girls eyes became wide. She let go of Courtney's shoulders and looked straight into the boy's eyes. "I don't know what you're trying to insinuate but-"

The boy put his hand up. "You've known me since kindergarten. You know between you and me who people are going to believe."

The girl huffed and walked away leaving Courtney and the boy alone.

Courtney looked down at her feet and mumbled, "Thank you" at the boy.

"You're not hurt, are you?" She shook her head.

The boy smiled. "What's your name?"

Courtney looked up. "I'm Courtney."

The boy put out his hand. "Noah. Pleasure to meet you, Courtney."

* * *

Her dad was right. Because of the move, Courtney started a new adventure because from that day on, Noah and Courtney were inseparable. Because of their knowledge, they mostly took the same classes together, they would go over to each other's houses to do homework together, Courtney listened when Noah would drone on and on about another book he read, and Noah would listen to Courtney as she practiced her violin.

They have been hanging out so much that people started to question their relationship.

* * *

The first time Courtney noticed the rumors was when she was waiting by her locker for Noah. Most of her classmates were gossiping about who the newest couple was (_And apparently in middle school, there's a new couple every day!_). Most days, Courtney would roll her eyes and ignore the gossip, and she would have this time too if she didn't hear her name.

"Oh my gosh," she heard Kiki excitedly whisper to her friend, Chloe. "Did you hear about Noah and Courtney?"

_Me and Noah?_

"I know," Chloe said getting bubble gum out of her bag. "I give it two weeks."

Kiki playfully hit Chloe in the shoulder. "You're such a pessimist. I give it six months."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Look at you, being the optimist."

_Why would people think I'm dating Noah?_

"I know, right?"

Courtney jumped and quickly turned towards the voice. When she realized it was Noah, she relaxed.

"Can you believe people think we're dating," Courtney said perplexed.

"Just ignore them," Noah said.

* * *

And, truth be told, even Courtney was starting to question her relationship with Noah.

Courtney had a crush on Noah since the day when he stood up for her. To her, it was really sweet and charming _(and totally something Mr. Darcy would_ do!). Whenever people asked her if she was dating Noah, she would blush, quickly shake her head no, and walk away as far from the person as she could. But she could not deny that she did daydream what life would be like if they were dating. They both were at the same intelligence level and were comfortable around each other. However, she never brought out that conversation with Noah. _If I tell him and he doesn't like me, that would like totally ruin our whole friendship!_

So she kept quiet while hoping that she would never have to bring up their relationship.

Luckily, she didn't have to.

* * *

**NINTH GRADE**

Courtney sat in her homeroom classroom while gazing longingly at the colorful posters promoting the winter school dance. She sighed. _It's a week before the dance, and nobody asked me to go! It would've been really nice to go with Noah..._ _Well... what did I expect?_ _He probably asked that girl he was telling me about..._

* * *

**LAST WEEK**

While waiting for class to start, Courtney was trying to find the courage to ask Noah to the school dance. _Should I just be straight forward about it? Wait, what if he already asked someone? No, then he would've told me. But then again, he hasn't even mentioned the dance once. Maybe I should just ask to make sure..._

Courtney turned to the right of her where Noah was seated reading a textbook. _He's such a nerd._ "So Noah," she tried to ask casually. "Anyone you considered taking to the dance?"

"Well," said Noah slowly while still looking at his textbook. "There was this one girl that I've liked for a while..."

Courtney could feel her heartbreak. _He likes someone and didn't tell me?_ "So," asked Courtney while trying to hide her hurt feelings from her voice. "Who is it? Why didn't you tell me?"

Noah sighed and slowly lowered his book down. "Because I wanted to make sure that I liked her. Besides, I'm planning to ask her soon so you'll find out."

_Lucky girl._

* * *

_Lucky, lucky girl._

When the bell rang, Courtney snapped back to reality. _But enough about the dance. I need to focus on school. _So, with that in mind, Courtney picked up her bag and started walking towards the door when...

"Courtney, can you please stay behind for a minute," the teacher asked.

Courtney froze where she was and watched as everyone walked out the door. _I've never been held back before. What did I do wrong? Did he notice that I was looking at the poster instead of listening? I better say something._

"Look, Mr. Cryer, I'm sorry that I-"

"Courtney," Mr. Cryer interrupted. "You're not in trouble. Don't worry. A student told me to give this to you." He held out a rose.

_Wait. What?_

Courtney delicately took the rose out of her teacher's hand. "Who gave it to you," Courtney asked curiously.

"He said that he didn't want to be named," said Mr. Cryer. "You better hurry to your second class." The warning bell rang. "You only have a couple of minutes."

* * *

The next six classes were exactly like her homeroom class. At the end of each period, the teacher would ask Courtney to stay behind, the teacher would give her a rose, and the teacher would not tell her who it was from.

And at the beginning of every period, someone would ask about her roses.

"So," asked Alicia, the girl who sits next to her in math class. "Who gave you the rose?"

Courtney shrugged. "I have no idea." _But this is definitely something Mr. Darcy would do._

Or would suggest a person that might have given her the roses.

"I bet it's Landon," said Jenny while pulling her sleeves down over her wrist.

_Landon? My "tour guide" Landon?_

"Look, there he is! At the window," Jenny whispered. "Maybe he's come to sneak a peek at your reaction."

Courtney turned toward the window and saw that while Landon was definitely trying to get someone's attention in the class, it wasn't her. It was Scott. Both were playing a bad game of charades of a prank that was about to happen. Ms. Baker cleared her throat while looking straight at Scott, but when she realized that Scott was too far gone to be paying attention, she continued with her lecture.

Courtney laughed. "I seriously doubt that."

The class finally rang signaling the end of the day. Courtney waved bye to Jenny and walked away while hugging all seven of her roses. The mysterious guy still didn't reveal himself to her. She opened her locker to discover five more roses. She sighed dreamily. _I hope it's from someone sweet and not from a delinquent like Scott._

"SCOTT," screamed Ms. Baker.

_Speak of the devil._

Courtney turned to see Scott running down the hallway with a paintball gun with Ms. Baker, now covered in blue, chasing him. She shook her head. _Some people are so immature._

* * *

Courtney walked with a skip to her step all the way to her house where she discovered a note taped to her front door. "Do you have a date? Because I would love to go with you," she read out loud.

She laughed and said softly to herself, "No, I don't."

"Good."

She turned around to face a very nervous Noah.

"Courtney," he began. "I just... Wanted to... You know... See if... You wanted to... You know..."

She dropped her roses and hugged Noah. "I would love to."

The rest was history. _And Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy lived happily ever after!_

* * *

**TENTH GRADE**

...Until tenth grade that is. Courtney's life could not have been more miserable. It started when she noticed her dad looking more and more stressed each time he went off to work. Then, a month passed when her dad had let out the news that he lost his job. After releasing the news, he walked towards the fridge while still talking. "With this kind of economy, they couldn't handle to have that many workers." Her dad fished for a beer can. When he finally found one, he opened the bottle and took a big chug of it before continuing. "So they let me go. Well, fuck them. Let's see if they can survive without me."

At first, her mother tried to work overtime at her office while her father tried to find another job. However, when her father started to come back home drunk and irritated every night, it became clear to both Courtney and her mom that he stopped trying.

"You need to get a job," her mother begged. "We need the money to send Courtney to college."

"Yeah, yeah, college," said her father clearly intoxicated. "We got some years before she goes. It'll be fine!"

"IT WILL NOT BE FINE! YOU ARE DRUNK AND UNEMPLOYED!"

Courtney quietly closed the door to her bedroom while she heard to her mom and dad scream at each other of how they were going to pay for Courtney's future. Whenever she heard her parents fight like this, she would quietly escape to her room, put on her headphones, and blast the music until she could no longer hear them.

Unfortunately, the cheap headphones did not do the trick this time. _Maybe I can sleep through this?_ She closed her eyes as she heard her mom stomping her feet. She groaned. "Goddammit!" She sat up straight and listened to her parents fight trying to determine how serious it was. "They probably won't stop until tomorrow."

_Time to escape. _Opening her window slowly so that her parents couldn't hear, she crawled out of it until she reached the front lawn. _Thank god for a one story house._ She ran away from her house and ran towards the only person she could trust. Noah.

* * *

Courtney didn't stop running until she reached Noah's front door. She knocked and waited a few minutes, but there was no answer. She tried again. The same thing happened. She walked over to the side of his house and looked inside the window. The house was dark. She walked back to the front and sat by the mail box. _What now?_

"Hey Courtney."

She turned her head towards the voice and smiled when she saw Damien, her debate partner, at the next-door house's front steps. "Hey." She stood up, dusted herself off, and walked over to him.

"Let me guess," Damian said putting his hand to his chin as if he trying to solve a mystery. "You wanted to see Noah, but he's not home."

Courtney laughed. "Obviously," she replied to Damian while rolling her eyes. "I don't typically sit by random people's mailboxes."

"Hmm... You make a good point, my dear debate buddy." Damien smiled back. "But yeah," he continued in a serious tone. "Usually on Tuesday they don't come home until late."

Courtney sighed. "Great."

"But hey, if you want, you can stay at my house until Noah comes!"

"Are you sure that's okay?"

"Yeah, my parents don't come until midnight anyway so it's just me and my sister."

Courtney weighed her options. _Damian has always been friendly to me. And I don't want to worry Noah by waiting by his mailbox all night_. She shrugged her shoulders. "Sure. Why not?"

"That's the spirit!" He opened the door. "Come on in."

She walked into the house not noticing a girl already in there with long black hair down to her waist glaring at her as she did.

* * *

Courtney waited for an hour with Damian while they watched tv. Slowly, Courtney felt her eyes get heavy and unknowingly fell into a deel sleep on Damian's shoulder.

Damian gently shook her shoulder. "Courtney," he said gently. "Wake up."

_That's not my mom's voice. Wait. _"What?" Courtney quickly opened her eyes with a panic. When she took a look at her surroundings, she relaxed when she realized that she was still at Damian's house.

"Noah just came home."

Courtney stretched her arms while yawning. "What time is it anyway?"

"Around 11:30."

Courtney shook her head. _I can't bother Noah and his family now! Not when it's close to midnight... _"I didn't realize how late it was. I better go home instead before my parents worry."

"Okay then. May I offer you a ride home?"

She looked out the window and took note of exactly how dark it was outside. "I'll take you up on that offer."

* * *

Noah sighed as he looked out the window. He texted Courtney two hours ago, and she still was not responding. _I hope everything's okay._ He checked his phone for a text one more time before looking back at the window._ Looks like __Damien helping someone into his car. Someone with brown hair and tan skin. Looks an awfully lot like Courtney. Wait._ _Is that Courtney? But what would she be doing in Damien's house?_

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY**

Noah's thoughts were plagued with Courtney. _Why was she at Damian's house at that hour? Did something happen? Was she waiting for me? I better find her._ He started to make his way to the front door of the school building when Damien's sister blocked his way.

"Hey Noah," she said with a sympathetic tone. "Are you okay?"

Noah stopped. _Well, this isn't suspicious in the slightest._ "What do _you_ want? I'm kinda in a rush."

"You and Courtney broke up didn't you?"

He stopped in his track. _Yup. Not at all suspicious._ "And what would make you say that?"

She looked around before whispering in his ear. "Last night, she came to our house and then stayed with Damien for a long time. Like a long, _long_ time."

Noah rolled his eyes. "I know that they're debate partners. It's not that suspicious for them to be spending time together."

"True," she said slowly while pulling her phone out of her pocket. "But this was suspicious."

He decided to humor the girl and look at the phone. It was a picture of Courtney. With her head on Damian's shoulder. While he was smiling. He took a deep breath in and out. _Just play it cool._ "They're just friends."

"You know, Noah," the girl replied. "I know it's hard to believe, but I am close to my brother. In fact, I just happen to know that he has a crush on Courtney. And after I saw the way they were acting with each other last night, I gotta say, I think the feeling is mutual. I just thought you should know before she breaks your heart... You know... Like-"

"Don't talk about that," he shouted, cutting the girl off. "I need to go."

Noah stormed off towards his locker. He didn't want to believe that Courtney would do that to him. He really didn't. _But then again... It's not like this would be the first time that's happened..._

One thing that Noah knew for sure was this: he never wanted to see Courtney ever again.

**END OF NOAH'S STORY**


	3. Heather's Story

**BACK TO THE PRESENT**

Courtney sighed. "What the hell is wrong with you? After that day, you never talked to me! No phone call... No text... No casual wave when I passed you in the hallway... No glance towards me even though we frikin sat right next to each other in class!"

Noah listened as each word took a stab at his heart. She was right, and he knew it. That day, he made a decision. A stupid decision. A stupid decision that started the downward spiral that led them to where they are today. _You're such a dumbass._

"You were my first boyfriend, Noah," she continued. Her voice started to crack. "But you know what's worse? You were my first true friend. Maybe my only true friend. And you broke my heart. You broke my heart and ripped it into tiny little pieces. And even to this day, I don't know why you did it. Why did you do it, Noah? We were friends! Friends don't hurt each other like this. Or maybe, I just don't know how friendship works."

She paused for an uncomfortable amount of time before continuing. "I thought when you came to the island that you'd finally explain to me what happened. But you never did. So just know that you lost your chance. You lost your chance of trying to make things right with me. Goodbye, Noah."

Noah watched as the tape came to the end and mumbled softly to himself, "I know."

Bridgette walked back to the tape recorder inserting the second tape and pushing the play button. The others prepared themselves for Courtney's voice once again.

* * *

"Did anyone notice that I mentioned everyone's names in Noah's story except for the girl who bullied me on my first day of eighth grade and Damien's sister," Courtney asked.

Nobody answers.

"Nobody? Wow. Or maybe you just weren't paying attention to the story since it wasn't about you. Who knows? I'll certainly never know." She paused for a moment. "Anyway, those two girls that I mentioned are the same person. Because of her, I found a person who brought me happiness. And it was because of her, that the only thing that made me happy was torn away from me. Any guesses who it is?"

* * *

**FIRST DAY OF EIGHTH GRADE RIGHT AFTER NOAH SAVES COURTNEY**

By now, Noah was able to calm Courtney down from her first experience dealing with the school bully to the point where Courtney actually felt comfortable enough with continuing her adventure of finding her locker. _I will get this map down!_ "So who was that girl," asked Courtney while letting the map lead the way. _This has to be the_ _hall_, she thought while turning to her right. However, Noah grabbed her arm and shook his head while leading her towards the opposite hallway.

"That," said Noah. "Was Ms. Queen-Bee, Heather, the most manipulative, spoiled, popular girl in this school." He rolled his eyes. "She thinks that just because her elementary days were, in her words, horrible she is entitled to popularity."

"What happened?"

* * *

**FIRST DAY OF KINDERGARTEN**

Heather couldn't sit still. She just couldn't contain her excitement! Today was her first day of school, and her parents brought her glittery crayons to celebrate her big day. It was also the first time that she got to carry a lunch box! She watched with glee as her mother packed her it with goodies like a sandwich, a juice box, and... celery sticks?

She stopped bouncing in her chair. What kind of kid would be excited for their first day of school when she had celery sticks in her lunch box? "No, mommy," shouted Heather. "I don't like celery. I want cookies!"

Her mother sighed. While she loved her daughter, Heather was starting to eat mostly sweets, and she wanted to stop the bad habit before it got any worse. "Heather," her mother said slowly. "Don't you want to be healthy like Damien? Look, Damien ate all of his fruits for breakfast!"

Heather looked at her brother, who slyly dropped the last of his fruits that he had hidden in his hand into the mouth of their dog. She rolled her eyes. _Some role model._

She watched with agony as her mother put in carrot sticks... apple slices... a peeled orange... she couldn't take it anymore. She felt the tears running down her cheeks. "I want the cookies," she shouted. "Give me the cookies!" She jumped out of her seat, ran towards her mother, and stomped her feet to show that she meant business. Her mother just shook her head.

That's when Heather's father walked in. As soon as Heather heard her father's footsteps, she ran up to him and held her arms up waiting for him to pick her up. When he reached the kitchen and saw little Heather, he chuckled and bent down to Heather's size. "Hello angel," he said. "I can't believe my little baby is going to her first day of school." He noticed her tear-stained cheeks. "What's the matter? Why were you crying?"

Heather sniffled and wiped her nose. "Mommy won't give me the cookies!"

Now, Heather's father knew the reasoning behind her mother's actions. In fact, they just had a discussion last night where he agreed to support her in trying to give Heather healthy snacks. However, that was all before he saw a grieving Heather in his path. And Heather had always been a daddy's girl.

Her father looked at her mother. "Come on, honey. It's her first day."

Her mother sighed. "Fine." She grabbed a ziplock and put two cookies in there. Then, she turned around and mumbled, "I need an aspirin" while walking out of the kitchen.

As soon as her mother left, her father opened up the zip lock again and put in five more cookies. He put it in the lunch box and gave it to Heather. "Don't tell mommy." He winked and walked out of the house.

And every day, the same thing happened. And every day, Heather grew a little wider.

* * *

**BACK TO EIGHTH GRADE**

"So how big was she," asked Courtney.

"It wasn't that she was big," said Noah while stopping Courtney from once again making the wrong turn. "She was more on the chubby side. Nobody really teased her about it. Except for Josh. He nicknamed her 'chubby bunny'. However, if you asked her for the same story, she would've complained about how she was 'so fat' and how 'nobody wanted to play with her' and other lies like that."

"Okay... But why?"

"Simple," he said while scanning the lockers for Courtney's number. "She wanted attention. She craves it. The thing about Heather is that she feels like she needs everybody's eyes on her."

"So how did she get so popular?"

"Well, the thing is, Heather always had one thing going for her. Her family is rich. So when Heather walked into school skinny in sixth grade while wearing, what they told me was, expensive clothes, every girl wanted a taste of that lifestyle. But Heather brushed every single girl to the side. I guess she decided that everyone needed to earn their place as her friend. So, Heather has a rule. If you stand up to Heather, you get to be her friend."

"Wow... How do you know all about this?"

"Seventh-grade study hall. Worse class ever. I couldn't concentrate on working because all that the girls do there is gossip." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I will never understand people like that."

"So when Heather told me to fight her..."

"She was recruiting you. But, luckily, I saved you." He smiled at her.

"But," Courtney asked teasingly. "How did you know that I wanted to be saved? Maybe I wouldn't have minded being her friend. She did have great taste in clothing."

"Uh-huh. Whatever you want to tell yourself." He then stopped and pointed to his right. "That one right there is your locker."

Courtney thanked him and walked up to her locker, thinking that Noah would leave. _Besides, he was just being nice. _However, when she turned around, she found him in the exact same spot he was in.

"I was thinking. It was really sad that you couldn't use the map to find your locker. Maybe I should guide you to your first class too."

Courtney smiled. _I'm going to love this school. I just know it._

* * *

**TENTH GRADE**

While Courtney was facing family drama, Heather was facing some drama of her own. The only difference is that Heather never saw it coming. Day by day, Heather's friends went from being grateful for being the most popular girl in school's friend to realizing that she just treated them like dirt.

The realization came slowly. For Kiki, it started when she went to the mall with Heather after school just like they do every Friday. While scanning the clearance rack of a very expensive story that Kiki could barely afford, she became ecstatic when she found a pink floral dress. _It's my size, and it's actually in my price range! It's a miracle!_ However, the ecstasy was short-lived once Heather saw the dress.

"No, Kiki," said Heather in a disapproving tone. "Remember, we agreed that pink was my color only."

Kiki rolled her eyes. _She can't be serious right now. _"Come on, Heather," she begged. "This is the only color left. And I can't afford anything else cute in this store."

Heather sighed. "Okay, fine..." Kiki happily picked up the dress again. "...If you don't mind walking home from school for now on."

Kiki weighed her options. _On one hand, the dress is super cute. But if Heather doesn't drive me, then I'll have to take the bus to school again... Ugh..._

"Fine," Kiki agreed while throwing the beautiful dress back on the hanger.

Heather smiled. _Too easy._ "Good girl. Now find me my size for that dress."

Kiki rolled her eyes as she went to work. _Why do I hang out with her again?_

For Chloe, it started whenever any homework would be due. Well, actually, it would start every time at a minute before midnight on the day before the homework was due. Every time, without fail, Chloe would get a text.

***Buzz***

***Buzz***

***Buzz***

Excuse me, several texts.

Chloe, previously in a deep and peaceful sleep while having a wonderful dream where she cut off Heather's hair, would slowly stir in her sleep until she finally woke up enough to roll over on her bed and looked at her phone that was buzzing. At midnight. Again. She rolled her eyes.

She should've ignored those texts and gone back to sleep. She knew that she should've. But she also knew that she had to answer her phone. She knew there would be consequences if she didn't. So every time, Chloe would sigh and finally open the text, which would always say the same words:

_CALL ME ASAP_

And so Chloe would.

"Hello," Heather would always answer in a chirpy voice.

"What is it, Heather," Chloe would always answer in a tired voice.

"You know that English essay?"

"You mean the one on Greek gods?"

"Yeah... I didn't start on it."

Chloe closed her eyes. She knew what was coming. She knew. And yet, she still humored Heather. "And what does this have to do with me?"

Heather used her sweetest voice. "Help me write it, please?"

"No," Chloe would always answer. "I'm tired. You gotta learn to do it on your own."

"But then I'll fail," Heather would always claim.

"Then fail," Chloe would always answer back.

"But then I won't have my car to take you to all those volunteering thingies."

She squeezed her eyes shut. Heather got her there. She needed to volunteer if she ever wanted the chance to go to a college far, far, _far_ away from Heather. "Fine," Chloe would always fold in the end. "But I'm not doing the whole essay."

"I would never make you do that," Heather always promised.

In the end, Heather would always get an A. The thing was Heather never lied. She would do her work as promised. Chloe just had to fix every single thing for Heather.

* * *

And just like that, Heather's friends reached an epiphany. They needed to get away from Heather. _Fast._

Heather started noticing the change when she picked up Chloe from her volunteer program. After asking Chloe if she wanted to watch a movie before she took her home, Chloe hesitated before responding, "Sorry, Heather, but I really need to study for this class... It's killing me, and I need to get that grade up if I want to make it into college..."

Heather, with her eyes still on the road, raised her eyebrow. It wasn't like Chloe to need to study more in order to keep her grade up. _What is this girl up to?_

"Oh really," Heather asked suspiciously. "What class?"

"Oh, you know," Chloe replied absentmindedly as she searched her bag for gum. "It's one of those honor classes you're not in. I'm telling you. It's brutal." When she successfully found a piece, she held it up triumphantly before unwrapping it and sticking it in her mouth.

Heather's eyes narrowed. _This girl is hiding something. I'll figure it out later. _"Can I have a piece of gum?"

"Sorry, Heather. That was my last piece."

* * *

Heather tried to text Chloe the next day about the geometry homework, but she never got a reply.

* * *

Then, Kiki started acting weird.

_Well weirder than usual._

It was Friday, and Heather was waiting by her car while tapping her foot impatiently. _Where is this girl? _Groaning with frustration, she took out her phone and texted Kiki.

_Where the fuck are you? Get to the car now!_

Just a few seconds later, Heather received her reply.

_Sorry... But I'm just not into the same type of fashion anymore... Or maybe into fashion at all... ):_

Heather stared at her phone in disbelief. Kiki? Not into fashion? _That can't be possible. She always wants to borrow clothes from my closet. What is up with her?_

Little did she know that Kiki was at the mall in that very moment buying the pink floral dress with a smile on her face.

* * *

But Heather didn't mind. At first.

However, when her friends started blocking her number, Heather came to the realization that she was friendless. So, she tried to recruit more people. Unfortunately, the intimidation method didn't work like it did before. When she would belittle people, instead of them trying to stand up to her, word spread that she didn't have her group anymore so they would just put an arm on Heather and say, "I know it's tough not having friends, but you don't have to lash out on me" before walking away to their class.

_What?_

Soon, Heather became the joke of the class. _Again._ Instead of being the girl that everyone feared, she became the girl that everyone laughed at. When she walked down the hallway, people giggled to their friends. No matter how expensive her shoes and purse were, people just shook their heads before making a comment to their friends. She never could hear the comments, but she could only imagine what they were saying. _Look at that girl. Her friends ditched her. I don't blame them. Who'd want to befriend Ms. Chubby Bunny? _Or _look at that girl. So desperate for people to forget about Ms. Chubby Bunny. As if we'd ever forget._

However, that wasn't the reality. Indeed, people were still begging her to go shopping with them or begging her to let them borrow her clothes. Some people even offered her a place at their lunch table when she was sitting alone. But Heather always walked away. She didn't miss her friends. She didn't miss shopping with others. She didn't miss people wishing they owned her clothes. She missed being feared. She missed people knowing that she owned that school. She had to gain that title back.

_But how?_

She walked farther down the hallway and noticed a poorly made poster. It was a white sheet with a black marker that wrote the words: Vote Noah for President. She smiled wickedly. _Bingo._

* * *

It was brilliant, really. If Noah was president, he would be the youngest one at their school, which means that a lot of attention would be given to him. _And to his girlfriend._ Right now, it was that CIT girl, but Heather scoffed. _She won't know how to use that kind of power. She doesn't deserve the chance to find out. But how do I get Noah? I mean, I guess I could wait for them to break up. But they've been dating for a year now so who knows when that will be? Oh! Maybe if I put green jelly in her locker then she'll get scared shitless and transfer schools! Yeah! That'll work!_

I know what you're thinking. But Heather wasn't crazy. She was just... Desperate.

"Come on in."

She noticed her brother, Damien, walk in with... Courtney?

She smirked. _Or... Maybe the opportunity will present itself all on its own._

* * *

One picture was all it took. Noah was pissed. By the time she finished her conversation with Noah, Heather knew her plan had worked.

* * *

Noah winning presidency was a given. After all, he did run unopposed. Heather waited until he won for her chance to strike. She figured that by then he'd be so high up cloud nine that he'd just accept anything _and anyone,_ who threw themselves at him. So, she got to work.

**Step One: Sit next to him in every class they had together**

Heather knew that Noah was always the first one in class. _After all, he is nothing more than a nerd. _So, Heather made sure that she showed up to class right before everyone came so that it'd just be her and Noah. And when she walked into class ten minutes before school started, she smiled triumphantly as she saw the only other person in the room was Noah, who was reading a book.

"Hey Noah," Heather said in the sweetest voice she could. "Do you mind if I take a seat next to you?"

"I really don't care what you do," he replied with his eyes never leaving his book.

_Step one, check._

**Step Two: Have him think he's my knight in shining armor by having him help me with my homework**

Once Heather sat down in her seat, she took out her geometry homework and pencil. She skimmed it for a few seconds before loudly groaning and mumbling nonsense hoping that Noah would ask her what's wrong. He didn't. _For a smart guy, he's pretty dumb when it comes to girls._

"This geometry homework is really hard," Heather whined.

Noah grunted in response. His eyes still did not leave that textbook.

Heather started tapping her pencil. "Do you think you could help me with it?"

"I'm in Algebra 2 Honors. I'm not in Geometry," he replied before turning a page in his book.

**Step Three: Give him a gift**

_Okay, step two was a bust. But there's no way he'd reject step three._

"Hey, Noah. I wanted to give you a present."

"If it's for my birthday, you're nowhere close. If it's for Christmas, that day passed a long time ago," he replied in a deadpan voice.

_This son of a bitch! Keep calm, Heather._ "No sill," Heather said in a teasing voice. "It's a congratulations gift. You know? Since you won. I got you-"

"I'm allergic."

Heather was starting to lose her patience with this boy. _Why does he have to make everything so difficult? _"You didn't even-"

The warning bell rang, and her classmates started to walk into the classroom. She felt her blood boil.

* * *

To say Heather was angry was an understatement. She was _fuming._ Heather walked back to her house while taking extra care to glare at whoever dared to even glance in her direction. Eventually, she just looked at the ground to avoid seeing people. And that's how she ended up walking straight into a pole.

"MOTHERFUCKER!"

She looked up to glare at the inanimate pole, when she noticed a sign for an audition to a reality show. A reality show? She smirked. _A place where nobody knows who I am? __This is my ticket to popularity._

**END OF HEATHER'S STORY**


	4. How I Got Onto Total Drama

**PRESENT**

"Oh, and Heather," said Courtney. "If you're wondering how I know about all of this, blame your friends. They have big mouths. Seriously, they wouldn't shut up during study hall. The point is, Heather, that you took away practically the only thing that made me happy when I was in a crappy situation just to become popular again. But that's the Heather policy, isn't it? You go out of your way to ruin someone else's life just to get ahead. Well now, the jokes on you. You tried to convince everyone on this island that you were miss queen bee, and I just gave away your dirty little secret. Isn't karma a bitch?"

Heather cringed. _It really is._

"You wanna know a secret though? People did genuinely wanna be friends with you. Kiki wanted to go shopping with you. Chloe didn't always mind helping you. Hell, even Lindsay genuinely liked you. She told me, you know. She told me that there were moments when it felt like real friendship. When Lindsay realized you would never stop treating her like shit, she cried her eyes out. She wanted a real friend, and she thought she found one with you.

"Anyway, you just threw away your chance of having anything meaningful because you thought you were above it. So, I hope you have a happy life with Alejandro because he's the only person you're going to have. If you guys break up, you're going to be alone again and this time, you won't have a reality show to give you a second chance." The tape stopped.

As Bridgette put in another tape, Duncan said, "You know, Heather, I think she let you off too easy. I hope your relationship with Alejandro burns in hell."

Heather scoffed while hiding back her tears. _Courtney was right._ "That's big words for someone who's also the reason why she died."

"True," said Duncan slowly. "But the difference between you and me is that my relationship did burn out. And you know what I was left with? Nothing."

_Wait. What? _Heather looked between Duncan and Gwen. Duncan crossed his arms to show that he was serious. Gwen looked down at her feet. "Wait so you guys-"

"Enough," shouted Bridgette. "I'm not letting you ruin Courtney's last words with your personal drama. Let's just go back to the tapes."

* * *

**HOW COURTNEY GOT TO TOTAL DRAMA**

Courtney walked angrily to her next class. Nobody was in the room yet, but just to make sure that nobody could hear her, she covered her mouth with her hands and screamed as loud as she could. It's been weeks since she was at Damian's house waiting for Noah. It's been weeks and no call or text has been answered.

Courtney wasn't stupid. She knew that their relationship was more than likely over. You can't really have a relationship with a person who was actively ignoring you.

No. What bothered Courtney was the fact that Noah ended their friendship. _How dare he? After all those years of being together? All those years of friendship wasted. Why won't he just talk to me?_

She felt the tears threatening to spill and put her face on the desk trying to silence herself. _Don't you dare cry. You're stronger than this. You're better than him._

_...Right?_

She missed Noah... A lot more than she wished. He was basically the only friend she made at this school. Yes, she also talked to other people, but she just couldn't connect with them.

Like Damien. When she first realized that Noah wouldn't talk to her anytime soon, she tried to hang out more with Damian. However, she found that their only common ground was the debate club, and although she loved that club, she didn't want to talk about it 24/7.

Of course, there was always Jenny.

Jenny was in most of her classes and though she was mostly quiet, she was probably the only other person Courtney mainly talked to.

Maybe she would try to talk to Jenny...

* * *

_...If I can find Jenny..._

The cafeteria was a big room filled with hundreds of students. _How am I supposed to find her in here? _She kept walking through the different groups of people sitting together before finally finding Jenny in the corner of the cafeteria sitting all alone.

"Hey Jenny," Courtney said while attempting to smile. _This is fine. I can make new friends._

Jenny put her book down and pulled down her sleeves before waving at Courtney. "Courtney," she said softly. "Come sit." She patted on the spot next to her. "So, did you hear about Noah?"

Courtney felt a slight stab in her heart at the mention of his name. _Just ignore it. He obviously doesn't care about you so why should you care about him?_ "He's kind of been ignoring me for the past few weeks so no. I've heard nothing about him.

Jenny stared at Courtney before looking and mumbling something about Noah and MO.

"What about Noah?"

Jenny looked back at Courtney as if she hasn't said anything. "Noah is our new president."

"How can you know that for sure? The elections didn't even happen yet."

"I know, but that junior that was running dropped out which means that Noah wins."

Courtney felt her blood boil. _He just gets everything doesn't he?_ "Well I think that's bullshit," yelled Courtney. "He doesn't even care about anyone! He does whatever he wants to do! He's rude and selfish and doesn't deserve it!"

Courtney breathed heavily before realizing that she was yelling. In front of Jenny. In a cafeteria in front of her classmates. Courtney's face reddened with embarrassment. "I'm sorry," said Courtney. "I'm just upset because of him."

Jenny shook her head. "Are you kidding? That was amazing! I mean, you're right. Noah is all of those things and everyone knows it. Somebody should really go against him."

_Maybe Jenny's right_. "I should run against him."

Jenny gave her a questioning look.

"Think about it, Jenny. I'm in debate club so I can write speeches. I was a CIT last year so I have good leadership experience. And! For a little while, I was in the A-Type Psychotic Crazies-"

"But you didn't even do a single performance!"

"But we were supposed to! So there were multiple posters of us up so people know who I am!"

"Alright," Jenny said. "You convinced me. Just know that the due date is tomorrow morning before school."

"Fine. I can still finish on time. I just need someone to record my speech."

"No worries. I've been listening to the gossip around school and apparently Tom wants to be part of the council too. If you promise him a position, he'll probably do anything for you. And besides, this will look great on your college application."

Courtney frowned. Last night, her parents were fighting over their financial state again. It became clear to Courtney that her parent's couldn't afford to send her off to college unless if she went to a community one.

Jenny noticed Courtney's facial expression. "Oh, I get it. Financial problems?" Courtney nodded. Jenny reached into her book and unfolded the piece of paper she used as a bookmark. "Here. I found this on the ground." She handed Courtney an audition paper.

"Total Drama Island?"

"It's a competition. The winner gets $100,000."

_I mean... The money is good, but is this really the best way to solve my problems? _"I don't know..."

"Come on, Courtney," Jenny urged. "Do it to show Noah that he didn't break you. That you're doing just fine. (Courtney couldn't help notice that Jenny seemed to be saying that more for herself than for Courtney.) Besides, it's a video audition. You can record your speech and the audition at the same time."

The bell rang.

"Courtney, just talk to Tom. I'm sure that he'll have some ideas to get you to win." Jenny picked up her bag and started to walk away. Then, she turned around and said, "Oh, and if you want a new boy, I think I heard that Scott has a bit of a crush on you."

Courtney looked out of the window and watched Scott _(who's ditching lunch!)_ carve his name into a tree. She turned around and shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm not really into bad boys."

* * *

During her free period, Courtney met Tom in the front of the school. It turned out that Tom was part of the school's AV club so he had access to the school's cameras. She waited patiently as Tom found the perfect angle to film Courtney.

"Okay, first things first," said Tom while holding the camera. "You have to fill in an application to run. Now the trick is to put as many academic stuff on it. By doing so, the admission people will let you run. If you don't, they basically rip up your application. So, let me guess, you're a straight A student?"

Courtney nodded her head.

"Okay, what have you done?"

"I wrote a book... was a CIT... in the debate club... a synchronized swimmer captain..."

"What?"

"Don't ask."

"Whatever" Tom said pressing the recording button. "Let's just get this over with."

* * *

An hour later, Courtney went through two tapes before finishing her speech.

Tom shook his head. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"You want them to vote for you based on that speech. Not fall asleep."

Courtney scoffed. "Excuse me. I'll have you know that with a speech like that I would've crushed the other debate team. And that's before we even get to the rebuttals."

"Whatever, let's just film the audition tape. And hurry because I got to go to gym class in like five minutes."

Courtney sighed. "Fine, I'll do a shorter version."

"Ready and go."

"Vote for Courtney! Hi! Vote for Courtney! Oh, hi! So as you know, I'm running for student council president, and if I win, I'll be the youngest one ever at this school. If you pick me for your new show, I promise I'll conduct myself with integrity, honor, and I'll get two new pot machines for the cafeteria. Oh, fuck, I just mixed up the two speeches." Tom rolled his eyes at that. He looked at his watch and almost swore. _Only got one minute to get to gym class._

"Can we start over?"

_She can't be serious. I got class to go to._ So, he shook his head no which also shook the camera.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I mean, I gotta get to gym class," said Tom as he heard the bell ring signaling the start of class. _And, I'm late._

She walked up to Tom and put her hand over the lens. "You promised you'd tape my audition for Total Drama Island, Tom! Oh, just give the camera! Give it to me!"

Tom rolled his eyes again and stopped the tape. "Look, I got to go. If you want, I'll help you with this after school." Not wanting to get into a fight with her, he dropped the camera, picked up his bag, and walked away quickly.

"But I have to meet with Damian to prepare our debate after school!"

"Well then, I guess you're screwed!" he yelled back at her without turning around.

She watched as Tom left and turned back on the camera. "You are so no going to be my secretary if I win..." _Anyway..._ "Vote for Courtney!"

* * *

Courtney whistled as she walked to Jenny. After filming her audition tape and her speech, she gave the tapes to Jenny, who said that she would edit the tapes and deliver them. Courtney was beyond excited. She knew that she could beat Noah. _I am better than him_. _Speaking of Jenny..._

Jenny stood by her undecorated locker preparing for her next class.

"Hey Jenny," said Courtney walking up to Jenny. "Did you deliver the tapes?"

"Well," said Jenny slowly while pulling her sleeves down. "The thing is... I tried... But they said your speech broke a rule."

"Which one?"

"They said that your speech can only be up to ten minutes at most. Your speech is almost an hour long. I tried. I tried really hard, but I didn't have enough time to edit it down to more than thirty minutes!"

Courtney groaned. _And it's due today. _"So now what?"

Jenny held up two discs. "These are your Total Drama Island audition. I can give one as your presidential speech, and one as your audition."

"But didn't I swear in it?"

"Yeah, but I bleeped it out. It's going to be okay. I doubt they'll even care. They'll probably just laugh it off."

Courtney shook her head. "No, they won't. I could get in trouble for that!"

"I hate to say this, Courtney, but it's the only option you have left."

_No, it's not._ "I'm dropping out."

"And let Noah win?"

"As long as I don't get in trouble, I really don't give a damn."


	5. Duncan's Story

**PRESENT DAY**

"Months passed by," Courtney said. "I knew that this Total Drama thing wasn't guaranteed so I worked my ass off in school trying to get the top grades. Sometimes Jenny would try to help, but most of the time, I didn't see her and that was fine with me. The busier I was, the less time I had for personal relationships. However, no matter what I did, I always came in second place to Noah.

"To make a long story short, I got into Total Drama, things happened, my dad was still looking for a job, blah, blah, blah... And then I finally was on the boat towards this godforsaken island. I was excited. I was going to prove myself. I was going to show the world that I was a fighter. When the boat finally reached the camp, I stepped out the boat with the mindset of winning. Sure, I could make a few friends along the way, but I needed the money more than anything. I remember standing on the dock looking at you guys and focusing on all the things I had to do in order to gain allies, stay in this competition, and win.

"But then, I saw you, and for a moment, my concentration went away. I don't know how you did it, but you became a pain in my ass before I even knew you."

"Just cut to the story, Princess."

* * *

**DUNCAN'S STORY**

If this was an 80s movie, music would've been blaring as a montage of Courtney would go through the screen of ways she was preparing for the island. She was ready. She had a plan of how she was going to get people to like her. She had a plan of how she was going to act in front of the cameras so that she didn't make a total fool of herself _(after all, I am planning to run for office one_ day). But most importantly, she had a plan of how she was going to win this competition.

Stepping onto the dock, Courtney remembered her manners and waved as soon as she saw a camera pointing in her direction. She even thanked Chris when he helped her down. _First impressions are always the best. I can't make enemies... At least, not yet. At least not until I know who is on my team. _While saying hello to everyone, she remembered to look into everyone's eyes and act friendly. However, inside, she smirked. _The competition... It's too easy._

She avoided eye contact with Heather _(how the hell did she get in?)_ and would have looked at Noah if someone's blue eyes didn't get in her way. Duncan's eyes. Looking into his eyes made her heart flutter a bit. And it scared her. Because she knew what that meant...

The boy with blue eyes was a distraction and had to be eliminated as soon as possible.

* * *

Courtney's never been so confused in her life. While her heart kept beating faster every time she saw Duncan, she couldn't help but despise him. Maybe it had to do with the fact that her last relationship was a complete train wreck, and even though she was still angry at her ex _(why is he here?),_ she couldn't stop sneaking a glance at him every so often. _I need to stop. _However, the only other person her eyes seemed to wander off to was Duncan. Just one look caused her to forget about Noah. _But why? He's a total bad boy. I've never been into those kinds of people before. Why now?_

When Chris divided the teams, Courtney prayed that she would not end up on the same team as Noah or Duncan. At first, she wanted to make amends with Noah (not because she forgives him or anything but because it would be nice to have at least one friend) but realized then she would talk to him again which would make her fall for him again and she did not need that distraction.

However, of course, as luck would have it, Courtney was put on the same team as Duncan. And her goddamn heart seemed ecstatic with the news.

Courtney didn't understand why it was Duncan who heart decided to beat faster to. First, he was flirting with Heather, which in Courtney's opinion is an automatic red flag. However, Courtney couldn't deny that she felt giddy when she realized that Heather did not enjoy this attention. Second, he was giving a deer a noogie. _Like a middle schooler! _Third, she could've swore he walked back to the cabin with an ax.

All in all, Duncan was not a catch in Courtney's book. Yet, when he sat across from her during their first meal and his eyes gazed into her eyes, she could feel her heart flutter just a little.

_Goddammit._

* * *

What Courtney wanted to do was ignore Duncan. But she couldn't do that for two reasons. One, he was on the same team as her so she knew at some point she'd have to interact with him. Two, she _craved_ for his attention.

As soon as the first location of their challenge was announced, Courtney followed her teammates with Duncan directly behind her. _It's no big deal,_ she told herself while she pushed her shoulders back making sure she had a good posture.

Once the challenge started, she watched with envy as each of the teammates jumped over the cliff with ease (except for DJ). Hell, Duncan even jumped without making a sound! When it was her turn, she stood at the edge of the cliff looking down into the shark-infested water. Half of her wanted to jump down to impress Duncan. However, there were two problems. One, Courtney was deathly afraid of heights. Two, she knew that if she jumped, she'd die of embarrassment from screaming at the top of her lungs in front of Duncan (you know, assuming that she doesn't die by the sharks). Three, what if she looks like a mess after she jumps? Then she would never get a chance with Duncan! Courtney shook her head. _Okay, reason number two and three is dumb. You can do this. You were a CIT for crying out loud. Just jump, and it'll be over before you know it._

So she stepped away from the edge and found herself saying, "Excuse me, Chris. I have a medical condition..."

* * *

**LATER THAT NIGHT**

After trying to look tough in front of the camera, Courtney walked back to the cabin feeling dejected and humiliated. Here she was with a swollen eye, a chicken hat (She could've taken off by now by why do that? She had to face the fact that she let her team down.), and nearly voted by her own teammates. And it was all thanks to Duncan. _Why do I even like him?_ She slapped herself. _Get a grip. You don't like him. You're here to win._

"That was pretty intense."

She looked up and sighed. Of course, right there on the stairs was Duncan. She rolled her eyes, "I beg your pardon?"

He stood up and walked over to her. "That campfire ceremony. Pretty intense. Well, for you at least. Me personally? I was enjoying the show."

"Yeah, well, it's all thanks to you," she said while glaring at him.

He laughed. "I know people like you. You will do anything in your power to win. Your guard is up so that you won't face any type of distractions. People like you annoy the shit out of me."

_What the hell is his problem? _"Is there a point in you telling me all of this?"

"What I want to know is why. There's always a story of why a person, like you, becomes uptight. So what's yours?"

_He seems like he actually cares. Maybe,_ _he actually likes me? _Courtney could feel her heart beating faster and her cheeks burning. _Good thing it's dark._ "Why do you care?"

Duncan sighed and started walking away back inside his side of the cabin. "I never said I cared. I don't care."

She could feel her heart sink. _So much for letting my guard down. _"Then why are you asking?"

When he reached the doorway, he turned and looked her in the eyes. "Because I thought it might help you. I may not like people like you, but you're still a teammate who seemed distracted. And we need everyone at their 100% if we don't want to be by that campfire again." He then walked in.

Courtney let out a huge breath. _What the hell just happened? _Still confused, she walked into her side of the cabin and found medicine for her eye on her pillow probably left by Bridgette. She smiled a little to herself. _At least something good happened today._

* * *

Each day, the challenges got more intense, and each day, Courtney could feel herself falling for Duncan a little more. _Even though he is a little shit._

Being around Duncan almost felt like kindergarten again. Ever since the first day when he called her "Princess", it seemed like it was his personal goal to think of as many nicknames for her as possible (including "Sweetheart", "Drama Queen", and "Woman" but "Princess" seemed to be his favorite). He also seemed to go out of his way to annoy the shit out of her. Like the time when they were at the cabin and he purposely brought out the hook to scare her just one more time. (But let the record show that she was not scared. It was completely circumstantial.)

And then there were those times when acted like he cared. Like when Geoff revealed to her that Duncan didn't actually vote her off after that first challenge and actually stole medicine from the medical tent to help with her swelling eye.

It was just too confusing.

It was through all these things that gave Courtney hope that he likes her too. _No, that's not possible. You saw him flirt with Heather. You'll just get your heart broken again. __Just ignore him. Keep telling yourself you don't like him and one day, it will actually be true._

Everywhere she went, he seemed to always be by her side. She tried hanging out with Bridgette more (the only person she could actually stand), but Bridgette was starting to develop something with Geoff, and even though Courtney thought that Bridgette could do much better _(The gift was a monstrosity!),_ she's been through enough to know that she should let Bridgette be. Though Geoff and Bridgette didn't mind Courtney hanging out with them, Courtney chose to spend as little time with them when they're together as possible. It just reminded her of her single life and of how much she wanted Duncan.

It also didn't help that Geoff started to invite Duncan to hang out with all of them. Though Geoff didn't know about Courtney's crush (or obsession) with Duncan, Bridgette knew all too well about it ("How did you know?" "Isn't it obvious? You're always staring at him.") and would try to play Cupid whenever she could. Like that one time Chris made camping out into the woods their challenge.

* * *

It was pouring rain, and there was no tent _(Thanks to_ Bridgette!). The only two things that kept Courtney from getting wet was DJ and a big leaf that he had happened to find. The camera crew decided to call it a day after worrying that their expensive equipment would get water damaged, which left the teenagers all alone in the woods.

Eventually, it stopped raining. By that time, it was well past midnight, and it was freezing cold. While Harold, Tyler, and DJ easily passed out, Bridgette and Courtney were way too cold to get comfortable enough to sleep. Geoff, being the nice guy that he is, offered to cuddle with Bridgette to keep her warm, and Bridgette quickly accepted. As soon as Geoff put his arm around Bridgette, he fell fast asleep. Courtney couldn't help but smile at that.

"She's so lucky she found a guy willing to keep her warm," Courtney quietly mumbled to himself.

"Well, Princess," said Duncan. "If you wanted to cuddle with me, all you had to do was ask."

_Apparently, not quietly enough!_ "Just go to sleep, Duncan."

She watched as Duncan got into a comfortable position. "Alright, but just know, the offer still stands." He quickly dozed off to sleep.

Courtney was seriously considering just staying up. It was way too cold for her to fall asleep. _Besides, there's probably only a couple of hours left before we have to wake up again to leave anyway._

"Just accept his offer," Bridgette said encouragingly. Courtney looked back at Bridgette. "Think about it, Courtney. He's asleep right now. You'll probably wake up before him so he'll never know what you did. Or would you rather freeze?"

Before Courtney could respond, she watched as Bridgette yawned before closing her eyes. Courtney groaned to herself. _She's right. She's always right... _So, Courtney gently lowered herself onto Duncan. Her heart was beating crazy fast. She just hoped that he wouldn't notice that she was ever there.

Then, morning came, and she heard someone say, "Good morning, sunshine."

_Damn you, Bridgette!_

* * *

Today was no exception. Currently, the four of them sat on the dock dangling their feet in the water. Geoff and Bridgette sat by each with (_She's basically on his lap!_) while Courtney sat by Bridgette, and Duncan sat by Geoff. Courtney was lazily swinging her legs back and forth and watched as it made ripples in the water. If she had looked up, she would've noticed Bridgette giving Geoff a signal that they should leave so that Courtney and Duncan would be alone (although if you asked Geoff the same story, he had no idea what Bridgette was saying and just nodded hoping it would satisfy her. It did.)

"Hey Courtney," said Bridgette. Courtney looked up. "Geoff and I are going back to the cabin to get something."

"Alright." Courtney started to get up.

"Oh no. Why don't you stay here? If you leave, then Duncan will be lonely," she said while discreetly winking at Courtney.

_Wait, is she trying to set me up?_ Courtney discreetly glanced at Duncan. There, he was carving something into the dock. She could feel her face starting to warm up. She grabbed Bridgette's arm before she could walk away and whispered, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Bridgette gave her a look as to say "I know something that you don't" before nodding at Geoff and walking back to their cabin.

Courtney sat back down and gave an exasperated sighed. _What do I do now? He already probably thinks I'm not worth his time. He told me that people like me annoy the shit out of him! _She covered her face with her hands. _I hate you, Bridgette!_

"Looks like it's just you and me, Princess."

"Looks like it," she replied without looking at him.

Duncan stopped carving. He was sick of Courtney sounding depressed when he was around her. Yes, when the camera is rolling, she'll act bossy towards him, but that was because she was competitive and also (from what Duncan is guessing) a way to keep her from actually liking him. When the challenge is over and her adrenaline is all out, she can barely say two sentences to him and those sentences often seem detached. He sighed and looked at her. "Courtney, please tell me what's wrong?"

_Everything. _Courtney dropped her hands and looked over to him. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you afraid of admitting that you like me?"

She froze and felt her heart thump faster than before. _Bridgette, if you told him, I will murder you. _"What? I don't like you."

"Yeah, you do. I can tell from the way you act around me. It might fool everyone else, but trust me, I can read you like an open book. Now, what's stopping you from admitting that fact to yourself?"

She looked down. "Look, the last relationship I had made me lose everything. You know Noah?" Duncan nods his head. "He was my best friend and later on, my first boyfriend. We dated for a while but then he ignored me. He didn't even try to tell me what was going on." She could feel her tears starting to run down her cheeks. "Isn't the best relationship you're supposed to have is the one where you're dating your best friend? Well, I did it, and it turned out to be one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. I don't ever want to go down that road again." She could feel the tears starting to come out.

Duncan scooted closer to Courtney and put his arms around her before kissing the top of her head. "Give me a chance. Just because you got your heart broken once doesn't mean that you should shut every opportunity out. I promise that I'm nothing like Noah. I promise that I'll never hurt you."

Courtney looked up. "Really?"

Duncan looked right into her eyes. "Really."

Courtney smiled. "You know Chris would kill us if he knew that we had a moment that wasn't filmed on tape."

Duncan chuckled. "Then we better stage one."

And that's how Basic Straining happened.

* * *

Through all of Total Drama Island, Duncan and Courtney felt as though they were in love. Seeing Courtney leave was hard on Duncan so when he finally got eliminated and reached Playa des Losers, he ran up to her and gave her a bone-crushing hard. He even got a little teary-eyed.

"I missed you," he whispered in her eye.

"I missed you, too," she whispered. _More than you'll ever know._

Being with Duncan made Courtney completely forget about Noah. She found herself falling more for Duncan than she ever did for Noah. However, she still worried that this wouldn't last. While she believed Duncan when he made that promise, a thought kept plaguing her mind. _How do I know this won't end the same way it did with Noah?_

* * *

Then, Courtney's fears started to come to life thanks to Total Drama Action. When the show started, she began to worry when she didn't get to compete. Duncan reassured her that she had nothing to worry about and that he'd win the money for both of them. Though his assurance eased her worries for a little while, she started worrying even more when she watched the show and saw that Duncan started to get awfully close with Gwen. She felt as though her world was crumbling down on her. The final straw was when Gwen got eliminated, and Geoff showed a never before seen clip of Duncan and Gwen. _That's it. I have to get on that show._

She looked like a crazy person. She was always screaming to her lawyers on her PDA demanding that they speed up the lawsuit so that she could get on the show. Though Bridgette tried to talk some sense into Courtney, Courtney started working on her letter for Duncan. In her mind, if Duncan was able to make the effort to commit to the demands listed in that letter, then that meant that Duncan was serious about the promise he gave her. It would erase any doubt in her mind she had about him.

The day that Courtney was finally brought onto Total Drama Action was probably one of the best days of Duncan's life (not that he'd ever admit it out loud). Once the sun set, Duncan was able to get a moment alone with Courtney, he did something that Courtney never saw coming. He said, "I love you." Courtney balled her eyes out as soon as he uttered those words. For a moment, she considered ripping apart the letter. However, the thought still plagued her mind. When Duncan would look over at Courtney, her heart would flutter for half a second before her mind brought up the fact that he probably cheated on her with Gwen. _He's not going to keep his promise. Noah broke your heart. Why are you trying to convince yourself that this will end differently?_

_Because I have a letter._

Courtney was cold that season. The hatred she built up towards Noah and Duncan broke something in her. And now, people were actually starting to hate her. She knew they were. She could feel the atmosphere change in the room whenever she walked in, but she just kept telling herself that as long as she still had Duncan, it didn't matter that they hated her. She just had to give him the letter.

Somehow, Courtney built up the courage to give Duncan that letter. Just like Courtney thought, the letter changed everything. It just didn't change in the way that she hoped.

Was the letter a bit much? Yes. Courtney's smart, and when the show ended and the adrenaline wore out, she realized exactly what she had done. _But Duncan I will get through this. We will. Won't we?_

Then, Total Drama World Tour came.

* * *

By the time Total Drama World Tour started, Duncan had stopped saying, "I love you" to Courtney. He started to not hang out with her as much as they once did, and Courtney could feel that Duncan was losing interest in her. _And it's all my fault._

Courtney sighed as she watched Duncan about to leave. _This might be my last chance. I need to make things right__._ "Wait," she called out to Duncan.

Duncan turned around and stopped waiting for her to run up to him.

"Duncan," she said looking down at the ground in shame. "I know that I haven't always acted the best towards you but please. I really do love you, and I really want this relationship to work out."

He paused before sighing and scratching his head. Looking her right in the eyes, he finally said, "I do too. I just... I just have some things to think about. I promise that we'll talk about it when I see you again."

"Really?"

He kissed her on her forehead. "Really. Don't worry about it. I still love you."

Courtney smiled as she watched Duncan turn around and walk away once again. For a moment, she thought that everything was going to be okay. _I will be okay._

How wrong she was.

* * *

Her life took a dark turn when Duncan returned. When he first came back, Courtney was initially angry. However, once the anger faded, she was able to show her true feelings to him. She missed him. She truly missed him. While he was gone, Courtney had time to reflect on their relation and realized the wrong that she had done. She was ready to talk things through with him. She was ready to rectify the situation. And, to her at least, it seemed like Duncan felt the same way.

So, when Tyler revealed that Gwen and Duncan kissed, well... She felt as though her heart was ripped out of her chest. Her worst fear had come true.

She tried to let out her feelings to someone in order to lessen the pain, but nobody wanted to listen. In their eyes, Courtney was 100% at fault. Usually, Courtney wouldn't care about what others thought of her because she would always have at least one person, who she knew truly cared for her. This time, she had nobody.

**END OF DUNCAN'S STORY**


	6. Gwen's Story

**PRESENT DAY**

"I hated myself for what I did to you," Courtney continued. "I wanted to die knowing that I could be that horrible. But then, I realized something. I realized that this wasn't entirely my fault. You were at fault too. You're the one who made promises. You're the one who couldn't keep them. I can't believe you think it's fine to tell someone you love them and can't picture a future without them and then drop them just to jump onto the next person. Who does that?"

The room was filled with silence once again as the tape came to an end.

"Courtney was special, you know," Duncan said finally breaking the silence. "And it scared me. It scared the living shit out of me. I've never felt so strongly about someone before. She treated me like crap because she was scared of losing me. I treated her like crap because I was scared of actually falling in love with her. But, maybe the truth was, I already was in love with her. And now, it's too late."

* * *

**Gwen's Story**

It was towards the beginning of Total Drama World Tour after Duncan and she had their talk. Courtney was sitting on the plane by herself away from everyone as she usually did in between challenges. It was during times like these that Courtney had to face the reality of her situation. She was alone. Bridgette was off hanging out with her teammates. Every so often, Bridgette would try to sneak over to where Courtney was, but every time, Heather would send Bridgette back. Courtney understood. She didn't want her fraternizing with the other team. This was still a competition after all. Friendships be damned. But, it still hurt.

At least when she was competing, she had something to distract her from her feeling of loneliness. But when the adrenaline was gone, she had to come to the painful realization that she was alone. Duncan left her, Jenny was far away, and Noah... She wasn't sure she was ready to trust him yet.

It also didn't help that she loathed everyone on her team. There was the new girl, Sierra, who was a crazy fan and who was obsessed with Cody, who unfortunately for her was still obsessed with Gwen (who may or may not have tried to take Duncan away from her though Courtney was slowly starting to think that Geoff just played that clip for views). And then there's also Heather. Courtney knew she definitely couldn't trust her.

Courtney sighed as she tried to lean back to fall asleep, but sleep wouldn't relieve her from boredom this time. She tried to take out her notepad to write a list of how she would finally win this season, but she just couldn't focus. Duncan was always on her mind. _I wish that he was with me right now... _She shook her head. _Get it together, Courtney. Focus on your goal. Focus on winning._

Thinking that way helped her get through the day. Until she heard a contestant laugh at something the other person said. Then the loneliness would come crawling back.

One day, Courtney finally got fed up and sat down next to Gwen. Gwen glared and waited for Courtney's rant about how she was trying to steal Duncan. Instead, Courtney sighed and said, "Look, I don't really have anybody to talk to on this team and neither do you. We're both on the same boat so we might as well try to get along, right? Besides, we're on the same team."

Gwen scoffed. "Oh, please. You're probably planning to be nice to me and then kill me off once I'm asleep."

"I thought you knew me better than that, Gwen. I'd never try to prevent my own team from winning."

Gwen thought about it. "Fine. Maybe I can tolerate you. But I doubt we'll ever be friends."

"Well," said Courtney getting comfortable in her chair. "We have a whole plane ride to find out."

* * *

To their surprise, they instantly connected. Throughout each challenge, Gwen and Courtney found that they both rolled their eyes in the same things and found amusement with the torture of a certain contestant (that "Eine Kleine" song was a classic!). However, Courtney knew she could truly trust her when she took the blame for Courtney for losing the challenge (_but the rock really did look like Duncan..._).

Courtney also found herself feeling happy with her life again and not moping over Duncan. However, in the moments that she felt the sadness creeping up on her again, Gwen was always there to hear her out with open arms. To Courtney, Gwen was like another Jenny. The person who saved her when she was at her low point.

At least, for a little while.

* * *

"Hey, Courtney," said Gwen while carrying a celebratory cupcake, obviously provided by the first-class service.

An elimination ceremony had just ended and most of the contestants snuck into the first-class before Chris would notice and kick them out. After grabbing the cupcake, Gwen joined Courtney in the back. It was one of those rare moments when they could be alone together and not have to resist the urge to roll their eyes at their fellow contestants or worry about the others listening in to their conversations. Though Courtney now felt comfortable enough to open up about anything to Gwen, she didn't want to dump out her whole past onto her. _I don't need someone to feel sorry for me. _However, there was one subject that Courtney was willing to open up to.

"So," asked Gwen. "About Duncan..."

Courtney arched her eyebrow. _Where in the world did that come from?_ "What about Duncan?"

"Well," said Gwen. "It's just that you seemed kind of stressed lately, and I noticed that when you talk about Duncan, your eyes light up. And I want to know why. Why is he so special? Isn't he just another guy?"

Courtney sighed while slowly tapping her fingers on her leg. _What do I even say to that?_ "It's kinda complicated, I guess. I don't even know how to begin explaining it."

Gwen smirked. "That's okay. I have a whole plane ride."

Courtney could feel her palms getting sweaty. Yes, plenty of people have asked her that question before, but most of the time, she just brushed them off. _But we're actually alone and me and Gwen are pretty close so I guess that it's okay..._

"It's just... I'm an all or nothing type of person, you know? I either don't like that guy or I'm in love with that guy."

"So... you're in love with Duncan?"

Courtney nodded her head. "I think so at least. I mean, it's like, when he holds me and looks at me, I can see that he loves me."

"But how do you know?"

She sighed. "I really don't know," she replied honestly. "But it's like... It's like I can feel it through his actions. Like when he looks at me and smiles, it's not like the kind of smiles that people have when they're in pictures. It's like a true smile. Like he's truly happy. So, when I see him do things like that, I know that what he says is true."

"What does he say," Gwen asked genuinely curious.

* * *

It happened when Courtney first appeared on the Total Drama Action set. Once the Awards Ceremony was over, Courtney didn't head back to the trailer like her teammates. She really did not want to spend unnecessary time with her roommates. Beth and Lindsay didn't exactly want her there, Leshawna talked shit about Duncan, and Heather... Did she really need to explain that one? It was fine though. She didn't fight so hard to come back on the show for them. She fought for the chance to get the prize. _And for Duncan._

She sat on the bleachers while lazily going through her PDA when Duncan approached her. He didn't say anything. He just stared at her as if he was trying to figure out something. Slowly Courtney put her PDA down on the bench next to her before speaking to Duncan.

"Can I help you?"

He didn't respond. He just kept looking at her as if there was something he wanted to say.

"Look," Courtney said slowly. "If this is about how I used my lawyers to get back on the show, you know how much I needed the money, and after I saw that clip of you and Gwen, I knew I-"

"I love you."

Her heart skipped a beat. _...What just happened? _Courtney was just getting ready to interrogate Duncan about Gwen, and he interrupted her to tell her he loves her? She tried to read his eyes to see if he was playing her, but he just waited for her to reply.

"...Is this some kind of sick joke?"

Duncan let out a deep breath and sat down next to her. "Courtney, I honestly thought I like you because I liked to get a rise out of you. But, honestly, I've missed you like crazy. Hell, the other night I was admiring the stars, Courtney. The stars! Could you imagine how much shit I could get at juvie if that secret got out? And, I was looking at them because I figured maybe you'd be looking at it too, and then, maybe I wouldn't feel so far away from you. And, it scared me because I realized that I can't ever see being anywhere without you. Every time I think about my future, you're always in it."

Courtney felt like she couldn't breathe. _He's calling me Courtney. He's being serious._ "You're an independent person, Duncan. You don't need me to be in your future."

Duncan shrugged. "Maybe. But I want you there. I love you, Courtney."

* * *

"What the hell are all of these teenagers doing in first class? Get out," yelled Chris.

_Busted. _She watched the contestants run back into the crappy compartment.

"That's really beautiful, Courtney," said Gwen while rubbing her arm.

Courtney smiled and closed her eyes as she savored that memory. She never noticed the look of guilt Gwen wore on her face.

* * *

After that day, Gwen never asked Courtney about her relationship with Duncan. Even though Gwen kept acting like she and Courtney were still the best of friends, Courtney could feel that something was different. Something was putting a strain on their friendship. Gwen would no longer look at Courtney's eyes when they had a conversation and always wanted to leave a certain amount of space between them.

_Should I say something? But if I do and it's nothing, wouldn't she be angry at me for automatically assuming that something was wrong? Maybe I shouldn't say anything. _But maybe if she did say something the trouble would've never have happened.

* * *

The day that Courtney and Gwen found Duncan, Courtney could not stop smiling. She kept looking at Gwen thinking that she would be happy for her, but instead, she looked... _guilty?_

She quickly dismissed that thought. She wanted to focus on the positives._ Duncan's finally back!_

Courtney smiled at that thought and didn't notice Duncan glancing at Gwen or Gwen trying her best to avoid looking at Duncan at all costs. However, that was just the beginning. When she found out about that kiss, her heart broke in two. Literally. She felt the crack. Not only did she lose somebody that she thought loved her, but it was done with someone who she thought she was close to. Who she opened her heart to. Her comfort during her lonely plane rides.

_She knew exactly how I felt about him! She knew that I really loved him, and she still stole him from me! She still chose him over our friendship!_

"Gwen," she whispered to herself. "You're going to pay." _And that's a promise._

Although revenge did make her feel better, she still cried herself to sleep because of two reasons. One was a broken heart. The other was because of the realization that she doesn't mean anything. Not to Gwen. Not to Duncan. Not to anybody.

**END OF GWEN'S STORY**


	7. Trent's Story

**PRESENT DAY**

"Gwen," said Courtney while sighing. "I don't know how you wanted me to react to this. Really, how could I not be angry? I know what people were saying about me. They thought that I was overreacting, but when you feel like you can't trust anyone and you fall in love with a guy who breaks your heart with your new friend and you see them both every day, it's hard to be happy. Try going through everything that I went through and then see how you react. And don't even try to tell me that it's easy because if you think it is, then you're obviously lying.

"So, Gwen, tell me. Was it worth it?"

"...At that time, it was," Gwen mumbled hoping nobody would hear her.

"Excuse me," Noah said in shock. "Did you just say it was worth it?"

_Well, shit._

"Look," said Gwen when she finally got the courage to look at Noah. "I know it sounds bad since I might've had a hand at making Courtney look like a crazy person. But to me, in that moment, it was worth it because I really like Duncan. I know it sounds bitchy, but I can't force myself to not like someone. Or to patiently sit on the side and hope that one day they'd break up. I had to go for it!"

Heather rolled her eyes again. _What happened to the Gwen that used to fight with me on the island? She turned into a total drama queen! _"Why do you always have to make yourself the victim?"

"I-I-I don't know what you're talking about," stammered Gwen.

"Yes, you do. It's never _your_ fault, is it, Gwen," said Noah. "Your reasons are always valid."

"They're probably more valid than your reasons!"

Noah glared at her. "You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know the whole story."

"Oh, please. What reason could you possibly have to trust Heather over Courtney?"

"Don't try to make this about him," Heather spoke up. "Like, really, you couldn't have waited until they broke up before trying to go after Duncan? You _had_ to do it right then and there? Courtney just wanted a friend, and she knew you wanted one too. And you thanked her by taking the only person that she felt like she could trust. And it probably wasn't even worth it either since he broke up with you."

"Now wait a minute-"

"Gwen, honestly you chose a guy over a friend. And now, you're back to being alone!"

"I have other friends!"

Heather laughed. "Like who? Your other ex-boyfriend? Yeah, I'm sure you guys talk with each other _all_ the time." Trent avoided eye contact with Gwen.

* * *

"Let's see who's next on the list," said Courtney. "Oh, yes, Trent. Listen, Trent, before I start, I just wanted to let you know that you're not a bad guy. You were never meant to be on the list. You really weren't. I didn't want you to think that you were like everyone else here, but I thought you deserved to know the truth about everything that happened. I'm really sorry I made you a part of this."

* * *

**TRENT'S STORY**

Besides Courtney's interactions with Duncan, there were a lot of people that she interacted with during the first season that the camera crew never caught. One of these people was Trent.

The first time Courtney had a meaningful conversation with Trent was right after she failed to do her challenge. _All I had to do was jump!_ Instead of following her team back to the cabins, she climbed back up the ladder and tried to find the courage to jump into the pool of green jelly. _Come on, Courtney, you can do this! It's only green jelly... _She began to feel her legs shake and started to feel sick in her stomach. _Nope, I'm going to hurl. I'm going back down._

Once she reached the bottom _again_, she sat down by the pool and mentally kicked herself. _What's wrong with me? Green jelly... It's such a stupid thing to be scared of. I'm hopeless. I cost my team this win. I'm definitely going home._ She put her face into her hands and tried hard to not cry. _Don't do that. Don't cry. Don't be pathetic. _She slapped herself hard. The tears started streaming down anyway.

During that time, Trent walked by with his guitar. The challenge was done, his team won, and now, he was going to relax by writing a new song inspired by a certain girl away from his teammates. Or so he thought. When he found the CIT crying by herself, he couldn't help but feel like she needed someone. Sitting down next to her, he attempted to comfort her by putting his hand on her shoulder, but Courtney smacked it away.

"Hey," said Trent. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? It's just stupid green jelly. And I couldn't get the courage to jump into it! It's fucking green jelly! It's completely harmless and stupid! And my team lost because of me... And I'm probably going home and I can't go home and... and..."

"Shh..." Trent put his arms around Courtney hoping that she wouldn't try to slap it away. "You know, I think you could've gone into the green jelly."

Courtney shrugged his arm off of her shoulder. "Don't be stupid. You saw me. I couldn't do it."

"True, but I think I'm noticing a pattern."

"What do you mean?"

"You're not really scared of sharks, are you?"

"Of course not! I'll have you know that I once beat up a shark."

"Then why didn't you jump off of the cliff in the first challenge?"

"As I explained to Chris, I have a medical condition!"

"Uh huh," he responded in a disbelieving tone.

_Busted. _"Where are you going with this," Courtney said with her eyes narrowing. There was no reason for her to trust Trent. After all, this was a competition, and he was on the other team.

Trent put his hand on his chin. "It seems to me, Ms. Courtney, that you have a fear of heights."

Courtney started to laugh. _Me? Scared of heights?_ "You can't be serious."

"Think about it. You're not afraid of sharks yet you can't jump off of a cliff into an ocean with sharks. You couldn't jump into the green jelly, but I'm pretty sure you could just stick your hand in it."

"So, what you're saying is that I could've won that challenge if I didn't have to jump in?"

"Why don't we find out now?"

He gently took her hand, hovered it above the green jelly, and slowly let go of her hand. He then waited as Courtney debated whether or not she should put her hand in. _Should I do it? If I don't, then only Trent would know that I couldn't do it again. But what if he's right. _She felt her hand shake as she forced herself to lower her hand into the green jelly. After what felt like forever, she submerged her hand into it and... It didn't feel as bad as she thought it would.

Trent smirked. "...And?"

"Not something that I would eat, but definitely not that bad. I still wouldn't want to be covered in this though." Trent chuckled at that. "Too bad you couldn't help me discover this sooner," Courtney joked while lightly punching Trent in the arm.

Trent laughed. "Hey, I may have helped you now, but we're still on opposing sides."

She took her hand out of the jelly and gagged as the jelly stuck to her fingers. _Yup. I'm gonna burn this hand. _"Yeah, well, I better head back before Bridgette starts asking me questions."

"Yeah, I probably should too." Trent started to walk away while whistling a tune.

"Oh, and Trent, one more thing." Trent turned back around to look at Courtney. "I just wanted to say thanks. For everything."

Trent smiled. "Anytime, Courtney."

* * *

The next time they talked was during Total Drama Action. As if it wasn't bad enough that Trent got voted, did Geoff really have to humiliate him even more? So Trent decided to spend a few moments by himself mindlessly strumming his guitar in his room while thinking about what had happened. It's not everyday your girlfriend breaks up with you on national TV. It's also not every day when you find out your ex-girlfriend thought you were obsessed with her.

His guitar string broke. He sighed. "It's really all Duncan's fault. Putting all those thoughts into Gwen's head..."

Then somebody knocked on the door breaking off his rant. _It better not be Geoff._ "Trent? Can I come in?"

He let out a deep breath. _It's just Courtney. _"Yeah, come on in."

Courtney carefully opened the door before walking in. Trent was a mess. His eyes were bloodshot. His hair was sticking out after running his hand through his hair multiple times. He had a broken guitar string and yet still tried to strum it. She sat down on the bed next to him and put her hand on his shoulder while caressing it. "You want to talk about it?"

Trent let out a lifeless laugh before sighing. "You know, maybe losing challenges on purpose was a bit too much, but seriously, I can't believe she thought I was obsessed with her."

"And then there's the fact that you think Gwen and Duncan have a thing."

"But so do you," he said while giving her a pointed look.

Courtney went silent.

Trent sighed again. "It's just that, you know. When you're competing against your girlfriend and then she all of a sudden becomes close to some guy on her team who _obviously_ has more things in common with her or at least... More things than I ever will... You start to question things, you know? Like, what if she realizes that we have nothing in common and breaks up with me because she wants someone who's like Duncan? Or what if Duncan convinces her that I'm not good enough? _(I'll give him that. He's a loser by choice.)_ Or even worse, that Chris will try to get them together."

Courtney rolled her eyes. _He's so melodramatic._ "Trent, be honest with me. Do you honestly think that's why Gwen broke up with you? Because she realized you guys had nothing in common?"

"...No. She broke up with me because Duncan's a fucking idiot."

Courtney paused. She really didn't want to believe that this could be true, but she saw the show. She saw the clips of Duncan and Gwen, and what's worse, she saw the things that Trent saw. Something was going on, and it scared Courtney to even ask about it. _But I have to know if it's true. _"Do you think that Duncan and Gwen have a thing?"

Trent thought about it for a bit but decided to tell Courtney everything he knew. She could decide what was true for herself. "Well, on one hand, Gwen did say that Duncan had a photo of you under his pillow. But, I'm not really in a place where I would trust what either Duncan or Gwen says."

Courtney smiled. "I understand." She put her hand on his shoulder again. "Thanks for being honest with me, Trent. I'll see you around."

Even though Courtney and Trent didn't fully trust Gwen and Duncan, they still held onto the small hope that they were wrong. That Gwen and Duncan were really just friends and that they were just being paranoid. It became harder to believe that after Gwen got eliminated and Geoff showed that clip of her and Duncan, but Courtney still had the tiniest little bit of hope left for Duncan. She loved him. She trusted him.

* * *

The last time they talked to each other was when Courtney got eliminated from Total Drama World Tour. Courtney was in tears. The hurt and humiliation she felt from Gwen and Duncan was still flesh. While she walked around the studio looking for Trent, she heard the other contestants talking about her.

"I mean, why is she even still crying over this?"

"Seriously, she should be over this by now."

"Right? It was so obvious that Duncan was gonna go for Gwen."

"Honestly, she can't control them like that. If they want to date, then she should just let them be."

Those comments just added salt into her wound making her cry harder than ever. _Did I really deserve this?_

Finally, she found Trent's room and pounded on his door. "Trent, let me in," she screamed.

No answer.

She growled in frustration, opened the door herself, and found Trent laying on his bed while staring at the ceiling.

She walked over to his bed and kneeled down next to him. "Trent," she cried. "We were right. We were always right. We knew and yet it still hurts. Why does it still hurt?"

Trent sighed. "It's because we had faith. We had faith in them. And it failed us."

Courtney opened her mouth to continue but heard Trent say, "Please leave."

Courtney was confused. Here they were in the exact same situation, but instead of Trent wanting to figure it out with her, he wanted her to leave? "But why? I really need someone to help me through this. You understand what I'm going through. This fucking sucks, Trent. I hate feeling like this. You hate feeling like this. So, why can't we just help each other get through this?"

He shook his head. "Really, I don't want to think about it. I just want to pretend that it never happened. That I never went through it."

"So you're just going to push your feelings to the side and pretend that nothing happened?"

"Yes. And I suggest that you do the same."

She shook her head. "It's not that easy for me to do. I need somebody to talk to."

He sighed. "Then, you're going to have to find somebody else. I'm done."

She didn't move. He couldn't be serious, could he? But when half an hour passed and no words were exchanged, Courtney knew that he meant what he said. He was done. The only problem was that she wasn't.

**END OF TRENT'S STORY**


	8. What's Courtney Been Up To?

**PRESENT DAY**

"Look," she said in a cracked voice. "It's really not your fault, Trent. We just get over things differently. I have to talk to let out my feelings to people and get validation. That's how I work. But I get it. You don't need that. You just needed time and for you, forgetting was easier. Don't worry. I get it. Don't beat yourself over it. I just needed to give you an explanation and this was the only way that I knew how. So, goodbye, Trent. I don't hate you for ignoring me. Please don't hate me for doing this."

_I'd never hate you, Courtney._

"I could've done more," Trent said breaking the silence. "I remember that day. I really did want to forget. But then I realized that maybe Courtney needed to talk about it. But it was too late. I couldn't find her. I only found her when we were in front of the cameras, and I didn't want to embarrass Courtney like that. I tried her room a bunch of times, but she was never there. I shrugged it off as nothing because I figured that maybe she just needed time to get over it too. But I honestly should've tried a lot harder. I was the only one who truly understood what she was going through, and I made the stupid mistake of ignoring her. So I'm as much to blame for this as all of you."

The room became silent again. Bridgette took out the next tape and announced, "This is the last tape from Courtney."

"You know," said Noah. "I'm really surprised that you're on a tape. Courtney seemed to really trust you even right before she... You know."

Bridgette shook her head. "I'm not on the tape."

"Well," said Duncan. "Who else could it be? There's six people in this room and six people on those tapes. Unless if you just don't want to believe that you're on the tape."

"Trust me. Besides Courtney, I'm the only one who knows who's on these tapes, and I'm not one of the reasons. Just listen to the tape."

Then, Bridgette hit play for the last time.

* * *

"Last tape," said Courtney. "Aka last time you'll hear my voice. Aren't you excited?"

Courtney laughed as the others stayed silent.

"Anyway," continued Courtney. "I'm guessing the sixth person isn't here, but it's okay. There's a lot more things that I have to tell you about. Like, for example, did you know that I was pregnant?"

"What," they all screamed.

"I know," said Courtney. "How did I ever get that past you guys? Oh, and the father is in this room. Surprise!"

She cleared her throat. "But on a serious note, I want to tell the father one thing. I really did love you. I don't remember if I ever told you that. And I would've stayed alive for you. And in a perfect world, we would've ended up getting married..." Courtney was silent for a moment before continuing. "Unfortunately, life knocked me down one too many times to think that I ever had a chance of surviving long enough to reach my happily ever after. Anyway, on to the story!"

* * *

**COURTNEY'S STORY**

It was another sunny day at Playa de losers. Even though the network tried to make it look like the losers stayed in different places each season after they were eliminated, the truth was they always ended up there. Not that the contestants minded since it was like paradise over there. Always sunny, a lot of good food, a pool, free alcohol ("If anyone asks, I don't know anything," warned Chris), and no parental supervision... What more could a teenager ask for?

And then, there was Courtney.

Most days, Courtney would be by herself. During those times, she'd stay in her room and observed the others from her balcony. At first, she did it for food watch. When she saw that mostly everyone was done getting food, she'd sneak over to the kitchen and grab a few items before running back to her haven. However, other times, she observed them because she liked knowing what was going on with everyone else without needing to talk to them. _And Bridgette's not the best with keeping up with the news._

Sometimes she'd hang out with Bridgette whenever she was free from Geoff, which really wasn't that often. When Bridgette wasn't around, sometimes Courtney forced herself to talk or eat with the other contestants. However, during those times, she felt empty. It just felt like an obligation so that she could prove to herself that she doesn't always have to be alone. But she could just never connect with them. Courtney hated herself for not being able to befriend people without feeling as though there's no connection. She thought it was just a timing thing, but day by day she felt more lonely hanging out with people who weren't Bridgette. Or even Noah.

On this particular day, Courtney paced around her room by herself. She stopped. _I can't take it anymore!_ She grabbed her PDA. She could feel her tears running down her cheeks as she dialed her mom's number.

Now, it should be pointed out that when Courtney left for Total Drama Island, her mother and she did not leave on a positive note. Courtney's mom tried to map out Courtney's life so that she wouldn't make the same mistakes that she did. However, Courtney wanted to be independent. She wanted to make her own choices. She wanted to do her life her own way. Her mom told her that going to Total Drama Island would be a big mistake, but she just huffed at her mom. Finally, there came a point when her mom realized she should just let her go. She tried to hug her before Courtney boarded the boat, but Courtney just pushed her aside. She wanted to be independent and that meant not needing to rely on her mother. _I can do this on my own._

How wrong she was. Courtney needed help with her life. She needed her mom back.

She put the PDA to her ear and waited.

"Hello?"

"Mom," said Courtney, her voice starting to crack.

"Courtney," cried her mother. "Dear, how are you doing?"

"I'm lonely. Not a lot of people like me."

"What about that Bridgette girl?"

Courtney shrugged. "Sure, she's fun to hang out with. But then she has her boyfriend and yeah."

"Oh dear. Have you tried making new friends?"

"I tried mom. I really did. I can't hang out with them without feeling like they hate me. Mom, I'm done. I'm really done. Can I just come home? I want to come home. I hate it here."

"Yes, yes. Of course! Just call our lawyers. I'm sure they'll find a way."

When Courtney hung up the phone, she was in high spirits. _Of course! My lawyers will know what to do!_

Courtney dialed the number and said, "Please tell me you made some progress so that I can get out of that contract and that show for good."

"Courtney," her lawyer said. "I need to be blunt. Even though the show doesn't have a lot of fundings, is getting sued, and not put together very well, the contract is surprisingly very well written. They covered every loophole."

Courtney groaned. "So, that's it? I'm just stuck here forever?"

"I'm sorry, Courtney. I truly am. I'll get back to you if I find something else."

Courtney hung up the phone and screamed. _Why the fuck can't things ever go my way?_

* * *

Courtney walked out of her bedroom while slamming the door. _Good thing nobody was here to hear that._

"Geez, what's gotten into you?"

_Scratch that._ She turned around to face whoever had caught her leaving her room and rolled her eyes once she spotted baby blue eyes. _Of course. It had to be him._ "It's really none of your business."

Duncan really didn't know what to do in that moment. "What are you even doing hiding in your bedroom when everyone else is outside?"

She crossed her arms. _Really? He's one to talk._ "I could be asking you the same question."

"Well," He replied while scratching his neck. "I might be hiding from a certain... someone... I don't know if you heard but-"

She put her hand up. "I know." During one of her alone times, Courtney witnessed Gwen and Duncan having what appeared to be an argument in the corner. It wasn't the first time she's seen this happen. Lately, it seemed all that Gwen and Duncan did lately was argue away from everyone else, and then, a few hours later, they'd be seen making out again. Right now, they were still in their "break up" period.

He gave her a confused look. "How do you know-"

"Not that I care," she sharply cut him off. "I mean, it's all going to work itself out anyway, right? Because you always get what you want, don't you?"

He gave a frustrated sigh. He really wasn't in the mood for Courtney's attitude. Her slamming the door was his first hint that he should've just ignored her. _But something always draws me back to her..._ "I really don't understand why you're angry with me right now. All I did was-"

"You know what you did," Courtney yelled. "Why do you always act like I'm the crazy one? I'm not crazy! You're the one who put me through this! You made me like this!"

_Oh. She's still mad about that? What are you thinking? Of course, she's still mad about that! _Duncan paused before opening his mouth again. _I really should've talked to her back then._ "You're right. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?"

* * *

A few hours later, Courtney found herself walking down to the bar. She sat down on the barstool before nodding at the bartender and ordering "whatever the strongest drink is".

The bartender looked at her. He was skeptical if he should give that drink (let alone any drink) since he's never seen her before, and he wasn't sure if she could handle it. Courtney rolled her eyes. "Seriously, dude?" He shrugged but did as he was told.

"What the hell are you doing?"

_Noah. _"What does it look like? I'm getting a drink. What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's 4:00."

She narrowed her eyes at him. _Is that supposed to mean something to me? _"...And?"

_"And, n_obody drinks at that time so it's quiet and peaceful." He turned to the bartender. "And you might want to make something that's not that strong. She's never had a drink in her life."

The bartender snickered (he already knew that!), and Courtney slammed the table. "Dammit. Are you trying to ruin my life? Why can't you let me do what I want to do for once?" She turned to the bartender. "Don't you dare listen to him! He doesn't know me!" But it was met with deaf ears.

"So really," he asked while signaling the bartender to get him the same drink. "What are you doing here?"

She tapped her fingers on the counter. "I didn't know you drink," she replied trying to avoid the subject.

He smirked. "Back home? No. But what can I say? This show's changed me. Now stop avoiding the question."

She waited for the bartender to finally slide over her drink. _Really? __A shot took that long to make? _She pushed it down her throat in one gulp before gagging. It tasted _horrible_. But it did relieve some of her anxiety so she ordered another one before looking at Noah again. "Look," she said. "I'm just lonely. If you haven't noticed, I don't have many friends. Not like you. I just want to go home. I want my life back again. But I can't. I can't get off of this stupid show because of Chris's fucking contract." The bartender slid her another shot glass, and Courtney gulped it down again. _Nope. Second one didn't taste any better. But I feel so... Good._

By the time Courtney ordered her third shot, Noah was just handed his second. While he could feel some of the effects of having alcohol in his system, he could see how much more it was affecting her. For one thing, she was swaying her head to invisible music. "Hey," he said. "Why didn't you ever come hang out with me?"

She laughed. "As if you would ever want that."

"You have no idea. I missed you so much."

She looked at him. "But what about-"

"I've thought about it. I was wrong. What happened... I shouldn't have let it ruin our friendship. I've missed you so much."

* * *

The next morning, Courtney's head and body hurt like hell. _Ugh. Who knew alcohol could be so deadly?_ "I am never drinking ever again," she mumbled to herself before pulling the blanket over her head.

A guy was there with her. He watched in amusement as she was rolling around in her bed obviously trying to get rid of the sick feeling inside her stomach. "You know, you'd feel a lot better if you just threw up."

She quickly brought the blanket down to glare at him. Bad idea. Looking at the smirk on his face made butterflies come to an already upset stomach. "It's not happening," she replied with confidence before the blanket back over her.

"Hey. Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"..." _Eh, what the hell._ She lifted her hand out of the blanket and felt as he dropped two pills into it. _What?_ She took the covers off of herself again and observed the drugs before giving him a strange look.

"It's for your headache. It's aspirin."

_That makes sense. _"Thanks," she mumbled as she swallowed them. She looked over and saw another bottle of pills. "What's that one?"

"That," he said. "Is sleeping pills. You're going to need a ton of sleep." He got up to leave.

"Wait," she said.

He turned around.

"I meant what I said."

He was silent before saying, "I love you too."

"Would you stay, please?"

And then one thing lead to another, and exactly one month later, Courtney found out was pregnant. However, we're getting ahead of ourselves.

* * *

For a whole month, Courtney spent most of her days in his room. He had a feeling that she still wasn't comfortable facing everyone so he'd go down and bring back food for her. Then, they'd watch tv. They were like an old married couple. _And it felt nice._

One particular morning, he woke up and smiled when his arm found a sleeping Courtney. He was afraid that one night she would decide she still couldn't fully trust him and would go back to her room in solitude. He knew that if she did that, she might never come out again and that meant he'd never get another chance with her again. He took a second to admire her. She looked peaceful not thinking about being lonely... About all the problems that he caused her...

"Good morning, Courtney."

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she saw him. "Good morning."

"So, what do you wanna do today?"

She paused to think for a moment. "Actually, I was thinking about maybe hanging out with Bridgette today. You know, if Geoff isn't hogging her."

"You mean like how I'm hogging you?"

"Except nobody notices that."

He chuckled. "Alright, I'll try to distract Geoff. I love you, Courtney."

"I love you too."

* * *

When Courtney got back to her own room to freshen up, she started feeling strange. At first, she dismissed it as butterflies. Until she threw up in the toilet. _That's weird. I didn't think I drank that much last night. Wait. I didn't drink at all last night..._

She looked at herself in the mirror trying to figure out what was going on. After all, people don't throw up for no reason. _Was it something I ate? What did I eat? _Lately, Courtney's been feeling a lot hungrier than usual. Poor guy had to sneak down to the pool multiple times to get food because, for some reason, it was never enough for her. She always figured it was due to her PMS symptoms. Except her period never came.

"...Well shit."

* * *

Geoff and Bridgette were casually sitting by the poolside, and surprisingly, they weren't making out! Instead, they just gazed lovingly into each other's eyes. _Ew._

It was during that time that Courtney decided to show herself at the pool. Nobody really blinked. It's what Courtney did. She'd hide for days and then come out for maybe a few hours before hiding again. _Where the hell is Bridgette? _She scanned the whole area until her eyes rested on a blond ponytail. _Bingo._ She rushed over towards them.

"Hey, Bridgette, I need you like now," Courtney said in a rush.

Bridgette broke her gaze from Geoff before looking up at Courtney. _Looks like someone's finally out!_ "Hey, Court! Why don't you sit down and relax with us?"

Courtney had to stop herself from stomping her feet. _There's no time for that!_ "Look, Bridge, I really need to talk to you... It's really important."

This time, Bridgette was able to pick up the panic in Courtney's voice so she kissed Geoff on the cheek and took Courtney to her bedroom.

* * *

"Wait," said Bridgette trying to process everything that Courtney said. "So, you slept with him? And now you think that you might be pregnant?"

Courtney nodded slowly before hanging her head down in shame.

"Well," said Bridgette walking into her bathroom. "There's only one way to know for sure." She stayed inside for a minute before returning again and handing Courtney a package.

_A pregnancy test? _"Why do you have a pregnancy test in your bathroom?"

Bridgette smiled nervously at this. "I may or may not have had a false alarm recently and may or may not have wanted to have an extra one lying around just in case it happened again." Courtney just stared at her in disbelief. "Enough about me! Go do your thing!"

* * *

A pink plus sign. _Oh dear god..._

"So," Bridgette responded nervously. "I guess congratulations are in order."

Courtney just stayed silent while staring at the plus sign. _What have I done?_

"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure he'll be excited too."

_Will he? _She thought back to everything they've been through together. While the past month was nice, it couldn't erase everything that's happened before. _He hasn't been there for me when things got tough before. Why would he do it now?_

"I don't think he will," she responded honestly.

"You don't know that! Maybe-"

"Please don't tell anyone about this. Especially him. Promise me, Bridge."

Bridgette sighed. _It's her life_. "I promise."

Courtney thought the universe was finally giving her a second chance with him. Now, looking at the pregnancy test, she realized that she could never be with him. No matter how hard she tried, life would always pull them back apart. She was trying to fight the inevitable. They never belonged together. It was just a fantasy.

And she never saw him ever again.

* * *

**PRESENT DAY**

"I couldn't stay on the show with a kid," Courtney continued. "And I couldn't tell him about the kid. It's one thing to confess that you both love each other, but it's more permanent when you realize that you have a child together. And I didn't know how serious this relationship was to him. Besides, I didn't want to ruin his life with my problems so I just kept silent.

"Anyway, I couldn't tell the network that I was pregnant for two reasons. One was I was off a season so I was hoping that they would cancel the show and that I could go home before showing. The second was that I was afraid that they would make me get an abortion. I wanted that baby to have a better life than I ever could. So, I decided to wait it out. But, of course, this show just happened to take forever. I was about four months along when I heard the rumor that the show wasn't even close to finishing. So I had to leave the only way I knew how. By asking the sixth person."

Then, somebody knocked on Bridgette's door.

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	9. The Last Tape

Nobody moved to open the door. The person started knocking again.

Bridgette walked up and opened the door to reveal the sixth person... Wait. Who was that?

"Are you Bridgette," the young teen intern asked obviously not enjoying the task he was given.

Bridgette slowly nodded her head. _Well... This wasn't how it was supposed to go. _"And you are..."

"Chris said it didn't matter what my name was so I'm just known as 'unpaid intern'."

"Uh huh," she replied slowly. "I'm sorry but where is Chris? He was supposed to be here."

The intern shrugged. "He said something about he had to get ready for the finale. I can take a message." His body language made it obvious that he wasn't interested in remembering any message that Bridgette would relay to him.

"Just... Just, forget it, okay?"

The intern rolled his eyes and put on his headphones as he walked away.

"So," Gwen said as Bridgette walked back to where the rest of them were. "I'm guessing that Chris did something too?"

* * *

**CHRIS'S STORY**

Courtney had a hell of a day. After deciding that it was finally time to get off this forsaken island once and for all, she had to come up with a plan. _How am I supposed to get even close to where Chris is? He's such a narcissist that he probably has security guarding his place 24/7._

It turned out that security was lacking due to the show going downhill. All she really had to do was find his trailer (which wasn't actually hard since really, it was almost like a mansion... _I guess we had to suffer for Chris's gain_). She held her breath as she reached the door of Chris's "trailer". She held the recorder close enough to her face and said, "Well, this is it. If everything works out, I'll be safe at home. There'd be no need to die. I can actually burn these tapes. But I guess if you're listening then that means it didn't work out... I really hope it does though. He's my last hope."

_Here goes nothing. _With the recording button still on, she hid the tape recorder in her pocket and knocked on the door. "Chris! Get down here now! I know that you're in there! Don't make me sue you again!"

She only had to wait a few seconds to see Chris at the door. "Geez," he sneered. "Some CIT woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Courtney held back a nasty remark. _Stay on his good side. __I have to make this work. Just be nice about it. _"Look," she said in the nicest tone she could manage. "I know that you somehow created a contract where it makes it virtually impossible for me to leave this show, but I really need to leave."

He sighed. "I can't say you were the first to ask me this. But I thought you were smarter than this. You and I both know that the contract is binding. No exceptions."

"But I have a good reason!"

"Alright, I'll bite. What's your reason?"

"I'm pregnant."

Chris thought for a while before answering Courtney. "Okay. So here's what we'll do. There's about a year until the next season ends so we'll just let you give birth and then give it up for adoption."

Courtney's jaw dropped. _How can he be so insensitive? Well, it is Chris but still! _"What if I wanted to keep the baby?"

He laughed at that. "Come on, Courtney. Be realistic here. We all know that you have these big plans for yourself. Do you really think a baby would fit in with those plans? You'll just be like one of those Americans in 16 and pregnant."

Courtney was furious. _He can't make my decisions for me. _"Why won't you just let me leave?"

"Look," he said. "Believe it or not, there's people that's above me. You can't just ask me if you want to leave. You have to convince everyone who's working on this show. And let me tell you something, they're a lot more cruel than me."

"So you're not even going to try for me?"

"That's what happens in this television world. People don't really care about you. They care about how much money they're going to make off of you." He paused for a moment. "Actually, maybe we can make a daycare spinoff, and your baby can be in it! Then, you'll be able to stay AND keep the baby! What do you say?"

_That's it._ Courtney turned and started to walk away.

"Alright! Good talk! Let me know if you change your mind!"

Once far enough away, she took the tape recorder back out. "Well, that didn't go well. What was I expecting?" She paused for a moment. "Goodbye, cruel world."

**END OF TAPES**

* * *

"Wait," said Trent. "What happened to the baby?"

Bridgette sighed. "I really don't know. The only thing that Courtney wrote in her letter to me is that she gave the baby to Chris. Only Chris knows where the baby is now."

* * *

By the time the final tape wrapped up, it was close to midnight. Bridgette gave each contestant their tape, and they went off their separate ways. _I need a drink._ _I can't believe all the shit that happened today. _When she finally arrived at the bar, she was surprised to see that someone already beat her there._  
_

There, already sitting on a stool, was Noah holding a shot glass.

"I didn't know what you drink," said Bridgette sitting down next to him.

Noah jumped a little before turning around to face Bridgette. He chugged down his shot and slammed the shot glass on the counter causing the glass to break.

"Watch it," the bartender warned, but Noah just waved him off.

"What can I say," he said. "I had to survive the show somehow." He motioned for the bartender to give him another shot. The bartender gave him a suspicious glare but compiled while mumbling something about him "needing to work at an actual bar". Noah stared at his glass. "It's really not my favorite thing. But, you know, when you find out that you were one of the reasons why a person commits suicide, you kind of want to feel numb for a little while."

He chugged down his drink before talking to Bridgette again. "Sometimes, I like to be away from everyone. And I thought to myself, 'Where's the last place that teenagers go during the day?'." He then extended his arm to show the empty room _(Why is it empty right now? It's midnight_). "A bar! People get drunk during the day! This place is only packed at night so I come here just to be alone at times. And I figure that this is one of the only times where I can experiment with alcohol and figure out what the big deal is. My friend, Logan, here has been very helpful with that." The bartender (er... Logan) decided to ignore that statement (he swears this time that he _will_ quit!).

Bridgette ordered a drink for herself. As soon as it arrived, she took a big sip. "I'm surprised the rest of them isn't here," she confessed. "I would've thought that they all wanted to drown their feelings."

He laughed at that. "They probably are, but they have their own stash."

Bridgette took a sip of her drink thinking hard about the tapes... What they confessed... How they all reacted... "Hey, Noah?"

"Hm?"

"What did you mean when you told Gwen that she didn't know the full story?"

Noah paused for a second debating in his hand whether or not he should tell Bridgette. _If Courtney could trust her, then I should too, right? _"There were things that happened that she didn't know. There was a reason why I stopped talking to her back at school. At the moment, I thought it was a good reason. After, I wasn't really sure.

"I really did love her. How could I not? She was my best friend. I came on this show because I wanted to make things right. I just needed her back in my life. Even if it was just as friends. And then things just kept happening like Duncan and then her doing that lawsuit to get back to the show and the Gwen thing and... There just never seemed to be a good time to do anything."

There's a lot more to the story than Courtney put on the tape. I didn't want to say anything in the room since it was supposed to be about Courtney, but I guess at least one person should now."

"That and you're drunk."

He chuckled. "Basically."

* * *

**NOAH'S STORY**

**BACK TO TENTH GRADE AFTER THE BREAK-UP**

Noah spent a whole month wallowing in self-pity. After deciding to ignore Courtney, Noah didn't really talk much. Besides a few acquaintances, Courtney was the only person he actively interacted with during school hours. _But she had to go ruin it! _"Why are girls so stupid," he mumbled to himself as he attempted to open his locker.

"You're the stupid one."

_Ugh, I really don't want to deal with this right now! _He spun around quickly to face the owner of that voice. "What do you know-" He stopped himself. Standing in front of him was a girl known as the one and only Jenny. "What do you want?"

Noah has known Jenny since kindergarten. In fact, until seventh grade, they were best friends. Jenny was smart. She's the one who opened his eyes to Winston Churchill, which started his love of Churchill wit. She was super bubbly but appreciated Noah's sarcastic, cynical nature. "You just tell it like it is," she used to say to him. "There's nothing wrong with that." And Noah? He may or may not have harbored a crush towards this girl. How could he not? She liked him for who he was when everybody else thought of him as nothing but a loser.

However, it all came to an end in seventh grade when she confessed to him that she was trying to befriend Heather. Noah thought she was out of her mind. She claimed that while she loved hanging out with him, she wanted to branch out and make other friends too. _And probably for the popularity status too._ She promised that he'd still be her best friend, but Noah didn't hold onto his end of the bargain. You see, after being accepted into Heather's group, Noah ignored her. He didn't want to be associated with Heather in any way, and if Jenny wanted to hang out with Heather instead of him, then so be it. She still tried to talk to him, but he'd just walk the other way. By the end of seventh grade, something must've happened because she wasn't seen around Heather anymore.

And now, in tenth grade, Jenny stood in front of Noah once again. But she was different. Her bubbly personality was gone, and it was replaced with a shy, quiet attitude. Instead of being at the top of her class like Noah, she was almost towards the bottom. And she always wore long sleeves.

Jenny glared at him. "You always do this, you know. You always act like everyone's leaving you when really you're the one who's shutting everyone out."

"If memory serves right, you were the one who left me for Heather."

"This. Isn't. About. You. And. Me. This is about Courtney. You were her best friend, and you left her because you thought that for some reason she was getting it on with her debate partner!"

_I never told anyone about that picture. _"How did you know-"

"I can put two and two together! Courtney tells me she was at Damian's house, and then the next day, you're not talking to her. Talk to her!"

He scoffed. "I don't know if you noticed, but I can also put two and two together so I know-"

"You don't know shit! You just expect that everyone will leave you! So when there's a situation when it seems like someone will leave you, you just cut them out! News flash, Noah! Courtney wasn't going to leave you! You're the one who left her!"

* * *

After Jenny's outburst, Noah realized how much of a jerk he truly was. _Why didn't I ever talk to Courtney about this? She's my best friend and my girlfriend!_ _Why__ did I let Heather play me like that? She had to have set up the whole thing! I'm so stupid! I've known her since I was five, and she still manipulated me! First thing tomorrow, I'm going to apologize to her._

He walked over to his desk and took out a piece of paper and pen and wrote:

Dear Courtney,

I'm really sorry about the way that I treated you. I should've listened to you instead of letting my pride get the best of me. Please meet me after school at that ice cream shop around the corner. I'll even pay for you. Just, please come. I really need to talk to you.

-Noah

Before the bell for the end of homeroom rang, Noah looked around to make sure that Courtney wasn't anywhere near her locker before slipping the note in. Little did he know, that the note didn't fall in all the way. Instead, it slipped back out of the locker onto the hallway floor facing the death of being trampled by students as soon as the bell rang.

* * *

For the first time in his life, Noah wasn't interested in learning anything that day. Every class period, he'd stare at the clock. It was finally his last period of the day. He waited anxiously for the bell to ring. As soon as it rang, he rushed over to the ice cream shop and waited.

* * *

Over an hour had passed since Noah entered the ice cream shop. He wasn't able to take a single sip of his milkshake, which was now a melted mess that pooled onto his table. He felt himself sink lower and lower into his seat until finally...

Landon and Scott showed up and walked straight towards Noah.

Noah rolled his eyes at that. "What do you want, Landon? I can't help you with homework right now. I'm kind of waiting for someone."

Landon laughed. "I see that you've already moved on. Good for you." He slapped Noah on the back. "Anyway, since you've moved on, you wouldn't mind Scott here taking a swing at Courtney now, would you?"

"Why? Farmboy can't do it himself?"

"She cleans up real nice," Scott said in a dreamy voice.

Landon went closer to Noah and whispered, "Farmboy here doesn't really have that much experience with talking to girls he likes. Mind giving him a few pointers to get Courtney?"

Noah looked at the clock again. _I've been sitting here for an hour and a half._ _I guess that she's not coming._

"Sorry, but I've got to go," said Noah while rushing out of the ice cream shop not looking at either Landon or Scott.

Landon turned to Scott and slapped his shoulder. "No worries, pal. You'll get her. Someday."

* * *

The next day, as luck would have had it, Landon and Scott were waiting right by Noah's locker. Noah groaned when he saw that. _Great. Not again... _He could've just walked straight to class, but he knew that they would just keep bothering him until he talked to them. _Time to rip the bandaid off._ As he neared his locker, Landon noticed and walked up to him with a huge smile on his face.

"Noah! Buddy," Landon said patting him on the back.

Noah rolled his eyes. "What do you want now?"

"Come on, help this poor guy out in getting a girl." Landon pointed to Scott, who was busy scratching his name into the locker next to him.

"Uh, let me think about it. Not if he was the last person on earth."

Landon leaned in to whisper to Noah again. "Come on, Noah. Scott really needs help."

"I can't help him."

"Why not? You're going to be announced school president really soon. And as our president, you are obligated to help all of us students in need. Including our naive, farmer, red-headed bastard."

"But I'm trying to get Courtney back."

Landon stayed silent for a little while before saying, "Look, Noah, Scott and I witnessed Courtney trying out for that new Total Drama Island show." He leaned away. "What did you think about her speech mixup, Scott?"

"She's pretty when she's mad," said Scott dreamily before resuming his carving in the locker.

Landon leaned back in. "Anyway, I don't know how much longer she'll be here after she makes it in. Maybe a few months if anything. I'm only encouraging Scott because hopefully, he won't get the courage to ask her out until a few weeks before she leaves so when he freaks her out with his lack of knowledge of what to do when he likes someone, she'll be gone and Scott won't have to live out the humiliation. You, on the other hand, have to wait maybe a few months for her to chill before trying anything."

"Well, that's just great!" He slammed his locker and walked away from the duo.

"Hey," yelled Landon. "Where are you going?"

"To audition for that stupid reality show!"

* * *

With the duties of being class president and making sure that he was still in the top of his class, Noah barely had time in trying to find Courtney to make amends with her and in trying to avoid Landon and Scott.

However, the months passed by quickly, and before Noah knew it, he was put on a boat to travel to Total Drama Island. _Please work out this time. __I can't screw things up again._

In the first season, Noah hoped that he would be put on to the same team as Courtney. As luck would have it, he was not. The fact that he was on the show to get Courtney back and just had to be on the _opposing_ side lead him to become more cynical and sarcastic than usual which led to him being kicked out pretty early. It also didn't help that Courtney fell in love with that delinquent.

In the second season, both of them did not compete and while Noah thought that this was his shot, Courtney always seemed busy trying to get back on the show. And, of course, as luck would have it, she succeeded.

In the third season, they both competed again, but unfortunately, they weren't on the same team. _Again._ He would've talked to her on the airplane but all she did was talk about Duncan, which Noah did not need to hear about. Then, he got eliminated, and Courtney... well... Things didn't go so great for her.

He often wondered, _Will luck ever be on my side?_

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	10. THE END

Rubbing his eyes, Noah felt himself straining his eyes in order to read the words in front of him. Though the bar was his haven, it did have its downsides like its dim lights. He tried to convince the bartender to turn on the lights, but he would pretend not to hear Noah whenever he asked. Sighing, he put his book down deciding to give his eyes a rest. That's when he heard her voice.

"...whatever the strongest drink is."

* * *

"I've thought about it. I was wrong. What happened... I shouldn't have let it ruin our friendship. I've missed you so much."

Courtney paused for a moment as if contemplating something really important before saying, "I've missed our friendship too." She paused again before continuing. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Go for it."

"I came here for the first time because something happened today, and I really don't know what to think about it. I'd go to Bridgette, but I feel like I'm burdening her with all my drama. But now you're here, and, I mean, it's not like we haven't been friends for a while. Help me?"

Noah smiled. _I've missed this_. "From here on out, always."

"Well, you know how I've had this thing with Duncan before it fucking exploded?" He nodded at her to continue. "Well, the weirdest thing happened a few hours ago..."

* * *

"You're right. Do you want to come inside and talk about it?"

Courtney thought about it for a moment. Of course, she wanted to talk about it! She's been waiting for Duncan and her to converse since he left after the first challenge on Total Drama World Tour! _But that was a long time ago..._ _And he hasn't shown an ounce of remorse about the way we broke up.._. For all she knew, he could be inviting her in to talk about how she's a raging psychotic lunatic! "Thanks, but no thanks," she replied. "I really don't feel like being lectured today."

"It won't be like that. I promised that we would talk so let's talk."

She rolled her eyes. _Too little, too late for that. _"You also said that you still loved me, and yet when you returned, you went straight to Gwen. And then, you made me think that I was crazy for being mad about that. So give me one good reason why I should waste my time talking to you."

"I can't," he confessed. "I'm going to be honest with you. I came to a realization, and part of it was realizing that I never talked with you like I promised." She didn't move a muscle. "Look, I can't give you a good reason because I don't have one. But I really want to talk to you. Please."

She had so many comebacks for him. _We all want something. I wanted you to talk to me about what was going on instead of just making out with Gwen! _Or _Oh, now you want to be honest with? Not when we were actually dating?_ Or even _You're right. There will never be a good reason for me to talk to you ever again._ She was ready to lay one on him. She really was. She opened her mouth to say it, but before she could get a word out, she looked into his teal eyes. Big mistake. Her heart skipped a beat. And that's when she realized. She still loved him.

_Goddammit. Really? After everything he put me through?_

She felt like she did the first time she saw him on the island when she tried to push away her feelings. But this time, she had to succeed. _Stop it. You don't like him anymore. He broke your heart. He's a bad person. He tried to make himself seem like a bad guy with a heart, but he has no heart. _But her heart wouldn't listen. Her heart was begging her to go to him. _Don't do it! Just walk away! Just- _"Fine," she heard herself say. _I'm weak._

He held his bedroom door open. She walked inside and sat on the ground. "So what exactly did you have in mind when you promised to talk to me all those months ago?"

Duncan rubbed the back of his head. He finally had a moment alone with Courtney to tell her what he was always thinking during those times. To tell her what he thought. To tell her why he acted the way he did. To tell her that he now knows that he was wrong.

...And he had no idea what to say.

She waited. She tried to be patient at first. However, as each minute passed, her anger grew. She could feel all the emotions she felt that day Duncan returned to the game. How she'd ask them if they could talk, and he'd blow her off with an excuse. How she eventually learned that his excuse was that he was too busy making out with Gwen to talk. "Do you want to know what I wanted to talk about when you came back?"

Courtney's voice made Duncan snap out of his thoughts. He spent so long trying to figure out the best way to talk to Courtney without insulting her that he didn't realize how much time had passed. And now, she was _pissed_. _Just stay calm._ "Ummm... Sure."

"I was going to apologize. I was going to take the blame for everything wrong with our relationship. I was going to promise to change so that we could actually function as a couple again. But you! You didn't even give me the time of day! You just moved on! Before you left, you told me that you still loved me and somewhere in between then and when you returned, you decided you loved Gwen? How could you?"

"Courtney, I-"

"No! I'm not finished!" _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!_ "I realized how horrible I was to you! I felt like shit when you were gone!" _Courtney, you need to calm down unless if you want everyone outside to hear you._ "I kept wondering if that's why you disappeared. Because you didn't want to go back to your psycho girlfriend. But then, when you got back, I realized that you weren't thinking about me at _all_. All you were thinking about was _Gwen. _The girl you told me I was crazy for thinking that you'd guys would ever have a thing. That's why I created that fucking letter. I wanted you to prove to me that you wouldn't leave me. And I know now that that was wrong, but I will never forgive you for what you did to me."

Duncan watched the tears fall from Courtney's eyes and hung his head in shame. His soul was filled with guilt. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I just want to tell you what happened. And I promise that I'm not saying this to excuse what I did. I just feel like you have the right to know." Courtney only sniffled back. "Remember that day when you somehow managed to win that lawsuit to get back on the show?" She gave a slight nod. "It was probably one of the best moments of my life. I know you thought that Gwen and I were hooking up or something when you were gone, but honestly, I couldn't get you out of my head. Every single challenge I did, I thought to myself 'What would Courtney do?' Every time someone said something I could imagine the clever remarks you'd make. Gwen was a friend and a good distraction."

"So you were-!"

"And what I meant by that," Duncan continued before she could get the wrong idea. "Is that she brought me back to reality to focus on the competition. If it wasn't for her, I'd probably would've been out before you got on. And then I'd never get the chance to be alone with you to tell you that I love you."

She froze. _Why did he say 'love' instead of 'loved'?_

"I was falling in love with you, Court. And I knew it. And it scared me. I wasn't sure if I was ready to be in a serious relationship. But I convinced myself that I was the only one. That you weren't falling for me. Then, to me at least, the relationship wouldn't seem as serious. And then the letter happened."

She braced her. _Here we go. I deserve to get shit for that._

"I made it seem like I hated the letter because you were trying to control me. But really, isn't that how our relationship worked? You'd try to get me to do something. I'd tease you that you liked that about me. You'd roll your eyes. And repeat. No, that's not what I hated about the letter. I hated it because I knew it meant that you were falling for me too. I know you. So I knew that you writing a thirty-two page letter, which highlights all my mistakes and how to fix them, was your way of telling me that you thought we were in it for the long haul. And it scared me. I knew that I saw a future with you too, but I always figured that it was just me. You seeing it too changed everything."

He took a deep breath before continuing. "And then when we got the matching tattoos and adopted Brittany, I knew that I had to get out. I was scared, Court. I've never been in a serious relationship before. It wasn't easy anymore. I started to think more about our future together. I started getting angry that I would ever plan that far ahead with someone. So, I guess I snapped. I had to leave the show. I needed to think things through, and I had to do it away from you. It didn't work at first. I couldn't get you out of my head. I couldn't stop picturing you being disappointed with me being a coward. A coward who tried to run away from his feelings instead of talking it through with his girlfriend."

"...Why'd you agree to come back with us after we captured you?"

"The week before, I was carving a skull into a tree trying to clear my mind. Big mistake. Apparently, that tree was sacred or something so the cops started chasing me. And when I ran away, I realized that I missed it."

"Being a criminal?"

"No, I missed life being easy. I convinced myself that it was you who complicated it. I thought back to when life was less complicated. And I realized that life on the show was easiest when I was with Gwen. So, I started texting her. I told her that if I ever got back on the show, we should give it a try. I knew she had a crush on me. I also knew she didn't want anything serious. I had things in common with her, and I didn't want anything serious. It seemed like a win-win to me."

"You didn't even think about how I would feel about this?"

_The truth is a lot harder to say out loud._ "I convinced myself I didn't care about you. When you got mad, I just told myself that you're the one who pushed me away with that serious crap. I just wanted to have fun. But it turned out not to be true. I started fighting with Gwen a lot because I realized that I missed being in a serious relationship. Gwen didn't want one. How could she? She had a serious relationship with Trent, and it didn't end up going so well."

"So," she said slowly trying to figure out why he was telling her this. "You keep breaking up with Gwen because she didn't want a serious relationship? What does this have to do with me?"

He let out a deep breath. _Come on. You have to tell her the truth. You can do it. _"I kept breaking up with her because I'm still in love with you."

* * *

"And then..." Noah asked intrigued. _Are they back together?_

"And then, nothing. I ran out of there," she said softly.

Noah watched as she ordered another shot and quickly chugged it down. "Why'd you run away? He said he still loves you, and from what I can tell, you still love him too. So, what's the problem?"

_Seriously?_ She grabbed his shirt with both hands and pulled him close to her. She looked straight in his eyes as she said, "How do I know he's serious? Maybe he's just in a funk because they broke up _again_. How do I know he won't get scared and leave _again_? Tell me, Noah. How will I know?"

He gently pulled her hands off of his shirt and smoothed it down before answering. "By talking to him."

"...You really think that would work?"

"I'm not saying that you should trust him again. I'm just saying that maybe you should talk to him about it. I know it's only been a few months, but people do change, Court. Like look at you and me! A few months ago, I would've never tried to get onto a reality show just to try to talk to you again. But I realized that I was wrong and that I needed you back in my life. And I think Duncan realized the same thing too."

She paused for a little while before saying in a drunken tone, "I love him!"

"I know you do."

"I need to tell him that! Now!" She drunkenly got off the barstool and started walking (if you could call it walking) out of the bar.

"Maybe you want to wait until tomorrow," he yelled to her.

"No! He needs to know now!"

END OF NOAH'S STORY

* * *

"...And I'm guessing you know the rest," said Noah.

Bridgette tapped her fingers on the table. "So were you okay with it?"

"With what?"

"Courtney going back for Duncan."

He smirked. "Oh, please. Yeah, we dated, but we were more friends than anything else. I was just glad I was able to salvage our friendship for one more night."

* * *

Once the tapes were done, Duncan sat in his room staring at his door. He thought back to the night it all began. The night that he was given a second chance.

* * *

AFTER LEAVING THE BAR

It was now 7:00 pm. And there was a drunk Courtney banging on Duncan's door. "Duncan! Open up!" Luckily for Courtney, everyone was still outside hanging by the pool so nobody could hear what was going on.

Finally, Duncan opened the door. He looked at the sight before him. _Oh dear god. She's drunk. She's never had a drink before, and now, she's drunk._ "I think I should take you back to your room."

"No," she yelled. She pushed her pointer finger into his chest. "I love you, and you need to know it!"

_She's drunk. She doesn't know what she's saying._ "Court, you're really drunk, and I think you really-"

"I'm not done! I love you! I need to know if you really never stopped loving me. Because the truth is, I never stopped loving you."

He sighed. _She's really not going to listen to me until I answer, is she?_ "I've never stopped loving you, Courtney. Even if you wake up tomorrow and tell me that you only said what you said because you were drunk, know that I still love you. And I don't expect you to ever want to get back together with me. I just wanted to talk with you today so that I could finally tell you what I was feeling."

She smiled. "That's all I wanted to know." Her eyes suddenly closed, and she fell forward into Duncan's arms.

_A sad drunk. Interesting._ He closed his door behind him and carried her back to her room.

* * *

"Wait," she said.

He turned around.

"I meant what I said."

_I meant what I said too._ "I love you too."

END OF FLASHBACK

* * *

Duncan closed his eyes trying to savor that memory when he heard a commotion coming from outside. _What the hell is going on?_

"Guys," Geoff yelled from outside. "Chris just got arrested!"

_Chris? Chris! Dammit!_ When the finale finished, Duncan was going to march over to him and demand to know where he put his baby. _Looks like I gotta work for it._ Luckily, he knew a few police officers, who'd help him out...

* * *

THE NEXT DAY

Heather walked out into the sunlight and saw Alejandro walking towards her. Before, she loved the idea that she could make guys fall for her. It's what was needed if she ever wanted to be popular again. But now, the desire for it didn't feel as strong as before. She looked at Alejandro again and walked right past him. She could figure out that part of her life later. Right now, there was something more important that she had to take care of.

She walked straight to Lindsay, who was currently tanning by the pool. When Lindsay noticed someone was blocking her sun, she took off her glasses and looked up to face Heather. Lindsay glared at her and crossed her arms waiting for Heather to say whatever she had to say. Taking in a deep breath, Heather tried to muster the courage to say the words that she owed a lot of people.

"Lindsay, I'm really sorry."

Lindsay stared at her a little longer before dropping her arms. She stood up and hugged Heather.

"That's all that I've wanted you to say," Lindsay said. She grabbed Heather's arm. "Come on, let's talk about your thing with Alejandro."

"What thing? There's no thing."

Lindsay rolled her eyes. _So naive._

* * *

Gwen walked over to Trent. She had a lot of time to think things over, and she finally saw what everybody was trying to tell her. _Why do I always need people to feel sorry for me? What happened to my I don't give a shit attitude? Why should I care about what other people think of me?_

"Trent," she said. "I've realized something. I didn't want to be with you anymore. I was kind of just always looking for an excuse to break up with you. It was stupid. I don't know why I couldn't just tell you that I didn't like you that way anymore. I don't know why I felt like I had to make you look like a bad person. That I had to escape from this relationship. And the worst part was that during all of that, I've never thought about how it could've affected you."

She looked at Trent waiting for a reply but got nothing.

"Look the bottom line is that I'm sorry okay? And I don't care if you don't accept it I just need to say it-"

He hugged her before she could say another word. "Thank you," he said before letting her go and walking away.

_Now, time to find Leshawna._

* * *

Trent walked in the lobby and noticed Cody sitting by himself. It was long overdue, but he needed to talk to Cody.

"Hey man," said Trent sitting next to Cody.

"Hey," said Cody weakly.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"Gwen."

Cody looked away. "There's nothing to talk about."

Trent sighed. "Look, I know I wasn't there in person when all these things happened, but I know that Gwen indirectly broke your heart. I also know that nobody was really there to help you get through it. It was more like the opposite. So talk to me about it. I know how it felt so maybe I can help you through it."

Cody sighed. "It's a long story."

"I've got all day."

* * *

As soon as the contestants were finally released to go back home, Noah went straight to a house he hadn't been to in a while. _I hope that she still wants to talk to me._ Knocking on the door, he waited patiently for a certain someone to come out.

"What do you want?"

He spun around and found the girl he's been looking for. Jenny. "I wanted to talk to you."

She rolled her eyes clearly not believing him. "Yeah, I'll talk to you after you talk to Courtney."

"I did. You were right. I left her when she needed me the most. And now, she's gone."

"Wait, she's gone?"

He nodded slowly. He watched as Jenny crumbled to the floor. "This is all my fault."

"It's really not. You were there for her when she needed it."

"No. It really is. A few weeks ago, they released in the newspapers that Courtney got a full-ride scholarship to a university. A full scholarship! She didn't have to go on that show! I convinced her to do it. And now, she's gone."

He sat on the ground next to her rubbing her shoulders. He noticed that she was still wearing her long sleeves. "It's all going to be okay." _I'm not leaving this time, Jenny. I'm going to help you through this. You'll see._

* * *

Once Duncan explained to his parents that they had a grandchild, they were more than willing to help him locate Chris. Luckily, he wasn't too far away, and his parents knew a few people who worked there so they let him visit Chris the next day.

At the prison, a guard was there to guide him to the cell. ("You're visiting Chris? He's crazy, man!" "Oh, believe me, I know.") Once there, he looked inside and noticed that Chris was trying to make his own game show. _Prison really does bring out the worst in people._ Knocking on the bars, Chris finally looked up at him.

"So, Courtney must've told you. You ready to find out where your baby girl is?"

* * *

EPILOGUE (5 YEARS LATER)

Heather and Lindsay held hands while staring at the television screen. They could feel the tears coming out of their eyes as they heard the main character announce the death of his wife.

After they left Total Drama, they found out to their surprise that they lived merely ten minutes away from each other. Excited, they spent every moment they could with each other, went to college together, and even rented an apartment together where they could watch all of the reality tv shows, romantic movies, and Hallmark movies as they pleased.

Alejandro and Tyler walked into the room and observed the scene in front of them. Alejandro rolled his eyes while Tyler said, "I don't get it. You would think that after watching _A Walk to Remember_ fifty times that they wouldn't cry over the ending. I mean it's the same thing every single time!"

* * *

"Okay, Trent, you're on in five minutes," said one of the backstage crew.

Trent nodded at the guy before looking himself over once more and then following the guy.

The place that his manager booked for him wasn't that big of a place, but it was okay. Trent was still a beginning artist, but from the looks of his album sells, soon he would be much more than that.

* * *

Gwen walked into a jazz club feeling slightly out of place. Every week, she'd usually meet up at Leshawna's apartment to hang out. This time though, Leshawna wanted to meet at a specific jazz club. She didn't know why. Leshawna wasn't into clubs. Gwen sure as hell wasn't into jazz. Yet, Leshawna insisted, and here, she is now.

Finally, she spotted Leshawna sitting at a table with Harold. "Hey, Leshawna! Harold!"

"Hey girl," she said once Gwen sat down. She moved her chair closer to her before whispering into Gwen's ear, "I have a surprise for you. Trent is performing tonight."

"What," said Gwen loudly. _Trent? I haven't talked to him in five years!_

Leshawna shushed her. "Just watch him. You guys have a spark before. I think you just weren't ready for it to turn into anything."

"Guys," Harold said. "It's starting." He started to clap with everyone else.

Trent walked onto the stage smiling at the applause that he was getting. "The first song that I want to sing is dedicated to this girl that I knew. I didn't always listen to her which was my biggest mistake, but I just want her to know now that I've learned from that mistake and that I am a better person now. And it's all thanks to her."

As soon as he strummed the first chord, Gwen could feel her heart leap. _Maybe the spark is still there._

* * *

Noah sat in the library with Jenny. Currently, they were studying for a midterm. Jenny was in pre-med, and apparently, organic chemistry was _killing _her. So, Noah offered to study with her for emotional support. He watched as she tried to work out another problem from her book before erasing her answer in frustration. He couldn't help but smile.

It took a while, but Noah helped Jenny with her downward spiral (along with the psychologists, who visited their school after news broke out about what happened to Courtney). He never left her side. He first started noticing that she was getting better when she put a positive spin to a cynical remark he made about the spring formal. Then, he noticed that she'd smile more. Her collection of long sleeve shirts started to disappear.

She groaned and started shaking her legs. Maybe she wasn't a 100% yet. But she was getting better. And when that day comes, Noah will be there right by her side.

She finally looked up. "Why are you smiling?"

"I'm just so glad that I'm not doing pre-med."

* * *

Duncan drove up to the preschool where his daughter attended. Annie, now five years old, was the exact replica of Courtney. Same hair, same nose, same skin color, and even the same attitude. The only thing that she got from Duncan was her teal eyes.

Getting Annie back wasn't the hard part. She was illegally put into the adoption agency anyway. The hard part was figuring out what to do after that. His parents helped him take care of her while he finished off high school (though he regrets it now ever since she told him "When I grow up, I want to be a cop!") and even helped pay for her daycare when he confessed he was thinking about attending community college.

He smiled as he saw Annie run over to his car. He loved her so much and never forgot to tell her that.

"Hey daddy," said Annie. "Who is my mommy? Where is she?"

Duncan let out a huge sigh as he helped her into her carseat. He knew that question was going to come up someday. She was smart. _After all, she is Courtney's daughter._ He thought about how he was going to answer her a million times. But what was he supposed to tell her? How do you let a five year old know that her mother felt so depressed and isolated that she took away her own life and that he was one of the reasons why?

"Annie," he said. "Your mother was very special. She was smart, and she worked hard for the things that she wanted. She was the love of my life. And you want to know a secret? She's still with us. Inside here." He pointed to Annie's heart.

"Wow," Annie said with wide eyes. "Do you think she'd wanna hear about my day today?"

He smiled. "I'm sure she'd love it."

* * *

Bridgette walked up to Courtney's tombstone. She lightly traced the carvings on the stone before putting down a red rose.

"You know, it's been five years," she said. "I still can't believe that you're gone." She sighed. "I think you would like to know that you changed their lives. Even though they hurt you, you still helped them live a better life. I just wish someone was like that for you too." She could feel the tears coming. "You'll always be my best friend. No matter what."

THE END


End file.
